Christmas shoppers are used to a certain tune playing in their head around the holidays. For some, it is to the tune of “Last Christmas” and goes something like this:
Last Christmas, I gave you my card
And the very same day, you swiped it away
This year, to save me from tears
I’m not shopping for anyone special
But, what if you were to give someone the items from the 12 days of Christmas instead? Sounds easy enough, right? You just need to find a barnyard that has some French Hens and buy some Turtle Doves from a shady Asian outfit that only does business online. If you were to buy someone all of the items in the ’12 Days of Christmas’ song, it would cost you around $107,000. This according to the PNC Wealth Management Christmas Price Index. They did the same calculations last year, and found that this year’s prices were about 6% higher. Let’s see how it all breaks down.
A Partridge: $15 Pear Tree: $190 Getting the partridge to stay in the pear tree: Priceless
Two Turtle Doves are about $125
French hens aren’t cheap. Three of them will cost you around $165.
Four calling birds, which in this case are canaries, will run your credit card bill somewhere around the price you likely paid for your first beater car in high school, $520
Five Golden Rings are $750? Seriously who needs five of them? Are you wearing one for each day of the week?
Six geese are going to cost you around $210. How you’re going to get them to be “a-laying” is your business.
For the hefty $7000 price tag for seven swans a swimming, they better be circus swans who do swim tricks that you charge admission for.
Eight Maids-A-Milking is a tricky one. Do you have to buy the cows? Are you paying the maids for an entire day of work or just long enough to reveal them to Your True Love? Do you have to provide health insurance for the maids? Huffington Post lists the estimate at around $58 but it could be closer to $10,000 if you have to buy the cows and provide the maids with a safe work environment, insurance and medical benefits.
You may want to charge your True Love admission to the Nine Ladies Dancing show, because it will cost you around $6,295 per performance.
The Ten Lords-a-Leaping Show is even more. After all, they are royalty. Sort of. $4,767 per performance.
Eleven pipers piping. Does anyone else think that whoever was writing this song ran out of ideas near the end? Apparently, pipers are pretty cheap, because you’ll only have to shell out $2,430 per performance.
Twelve drummers drumming is going to cost you around $2,630 and a big bottle of Tylenol.
Photo by Christine Chau on Flickr.com
Gabriel Legend covers current events for Gather News, and writes horror fiction as well. He is participating in this year’s National Novel Writing Month Challenge. You can follow him on Twitter (@GabeLegend).