23 Phrases to Help You Fight Fair

Filed in Gather Family Essential by on August 10, 2009 0 Comments

I admit it.  Even though my husband and I love each other dearly, sometimes we get into it.  Nine times out of ten, it’s over something inconsequential.  Not only that, but it’s usually grounded in something else.  One of us is overly tired, feeling down about something, or feeling unappreciated for some reason.

I recently stumbled across this article and will definitely be reviewing it on a regular basis!  It gives us 23 things to say that can turn arguements into something productive, or avoid them altogether.

Please try to understand my point of view.
Wait, can I take that back?
You don’t have to solve this—it helps me just to talk to you.
This is important to me. Please listen.
I overreacted.
I see you’re in a tough position.
I can see my part in this.
I hadn’t thought of it that way before.
I could be wrong.
Let’s agree to disagree on that.
This isn’t just your problem; it’s our problem.
I’m feeling unappreciated. [Always, my craving for gold stars!]
We’re getting off the subject.
You’ve convinced me.
Let’s take a break for a few minutes. [If you can remember to do this, it’s extremely effective—especially if you’re having a big fight. After a break, it’s almost impossible to go back to yelling.]
Please keep talking to me.
I realize it’s not your fault.
That came out all wrong.
I see how I contributed to the problem.
What are we really fighting about?
How can I make things better?
I’m sorry.
I love you.


What would you add to the list?  How do you “fight fair”?

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I am a first-time Mom enjoying this new adventure in my life.

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