50 Shades of Grey may be making women everywhere excited but is the main character, Christian Grey, more like Ted Bundy than Brad Pitt or Ian Somerhalder?
According to some of the ’50 Shades’ haters, Christian is one messed up man.
While it may seem as though everyone is embracing the novels, there are quite a few people who actually hate them. With a passion.
The haters claim the horrible writing, repetitive sex scenes and weird language makes for a waste of time — and money.
The Stir put together some of the most hilarious reviews of “50 Shades of Grey” for readers to check out. Here are some of the best:
“If you take out the parts where the female character is blushing or chewing her
lips, the book will be down to about 50 pages. Almost on every single page,
there is a whole section devoted to her blushing, chewing her lips or wondering
‘Jeez’ about something or another.”
“The author makes sex and eroticism as boring as mowing lawns.”
“This novel (if a bunch of childish, repetition words comprise a novel) is the
biggest load of crap I’ve come across since visiting a dairy farm in Wisconsin
when I was 7. My tabby cat could write better sex scenes than this woman.”
“I found myself thinking ‘Twilight, plus some spanking, minus the sparkly
vampires.’ Here, I’ll save you all some time (SPOILER ALERT):
Once upon a time… I’m Ana. I’m clumsy and naive. I like books. I dig this guy.
He couldn’t possibly like me. He’s rich. I wonder if he’s gay? His eyes are
gray. Super gray. Intensely gray. Intense AND gray. Serious and gray. Super
gray. Dark and gray. [insert 100+ other ways to say ‘gray eyes’ here] I blush. I
gasp. He touches me ‘down there.’ I gasp again. He gasps. We both gasp. I blush
some more. I gasp some more. I refer to my genitals as ‘down there’ a few more
times. I blush some more. Sorry, I mean I ‘flush’ some more. I bite my lip. He
gasps a lot more. More gasping. More blushing/flushing. More lip biting. Still
more gasping. The end.”
“This book is absolute and complete garbage in every possible
sense. Try to imagine of the smell of a large crate full of month-old
eggs in the dumpster behind a questionable greasy spoon diner on a muggy, sticky August morning. With a dead skunk on top. And garbage juice dripping onto the pavement. And a drunk guy urinating onto the whole thing. Now imagine rolling in that dumpster. Naked. That’s how this book made me feel.”
Obviously the haters are just as vocal as the lovers of “50 Shades of Grey”.
These readers all have a point. Christian Grey does sound messed up and could easily be like Ted Bundy, all tall, dark and handsome but with a murderous mind.
The repetition in the novels would be annoying to anyone and the idea that this naive character named Ana would do all this with this crazy man is beyond belief.
But, (most) women love it. Some say it has even changed their lives.
Where do you stand? Are you a “50 Shades of Grey” lover or hater?