’50 Shades of Grey’ is Full of “Crap”

Filed in Gather Entertainment News Channel by on July 19, 2012 0 Comments

There have been arguments that 50 Shades of Grey is laughable because of its portrayal of a girl’s first time – virgins might walk away with extremely unrealistic expectations after reading the erotic novel about sex god Christian Grey making a very convincing argument about why an inexperienced college student should become his sex slave.

All you have to do is watch the uncomfortable show Virgin Diaries to see how awkward that first time can really be.

However, the book isn’t just full of crap because it has virgin Anastasia Steele having orgasm after orgasm during her first time – the book is literally full of “crap.”

The Mirror has helpfully compiled a list of every instance of Ana saying “Holy crap” in 50 Shades of Grey and the other books in E.L. James’ series, which is a whopping 71 times. The newspaper editors were probably going to make a list of every time Ana’s “inner goddess” is mentioned in the books but decided that they only needed a little filler, not pages of nonsense.

Here are some of the best “Holy crap” lines:

“We’re talking about cheese… Holy crap.”

“Holy crap. His hands are really gripping my hair. I can do this. I push even harder and, in a moment of extraordinary confidence, I bare my teeth.”

“Holy crap… I need to take my pill.”

“Holy crap! My inner goddess removes her iPod earbuds and starts listening with rapt attention.”

“Holy crap, he’s holding a cotton ball!”

And that sums the book series up fairly nicely, don’t you think?

So obviously whoever plays Anastasia Steele in the 50 Shades movie is going to have to get her catchphrase down. This means that Peter Griffin from Family Guy or zombie Peter Boyle (R.I.P.) from Everybody Loves Raymond would be perfect for the part.

So can you think of any twenty-something actresses that actually use Ana’s catchphrase? It might come naturally to country gal Miley Cyrus.

Photo Source: Wikimedia

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