I don’t like to do very many things for four hours, and the few marathons I’ve fun for about that long stick out as particularly poor decisions in my life.Â Last night’s Academy Awards Show, however, flew by for me in a relatively painless way, although nothing made me think “I’ll remember that for years.”Â I had heard that they were going to skip the musical numbers all together this year, so I thought it was a bit strange when they opened up with an extensive one led by Neil Patrick Harris.Â What the what?Â I love me some NPH, but that seemed like a cop-out considering Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin were the hosts.Â Their actual opening was pretty funny, as they picked out people in the audience one by one to harass.Â Some of the jokes fell a little flat but I enjoyed most of it, and giggled when Steve Martin pointed out “that damn Judy Dench” as opposed to Dame Judy Dench.Â I think they could have managed a few more jokes between the two of them but, overall, it was pretty entertaining.Â The weird thing was we barely saw them for the rest of the night, and I always appreciate some off-the-cuff jokes by the hosts throughout the show.
The speeches are always a bone of contention, as many of them waiver between self-indulgent drivel to endless gratitude given out to agents and managers that no one gives an “s” about.Â Sorry, but it’s true.Â We’ve seen Entourage – we know you’re all a-holes.Â But last night was fairly painless in this arena as well, and I thought Sandra Bullock’s acceptance speech after winning for Best Actress (in a bit of an upset over veteran actor Meryl Streep) was a touching tribute to mothers, including her own.
When it comes to the actual winners, it was hard not to notice how much The Hurt Locker put the hurt on what seemed to me to be the most talked-about movie of the year, Avatar.Â Not only did it snag the biggest award of the night for Best Picture, but Kathryn Bigelow won out over her ex-husband James Cameron for Best Director.Â Best Actor and Actress in a Supporting Role went to Christoph Waltz and Mo’Nique respectively, which weren’t very big surprises.Â Jeff Bridges snagged Best Actor in a Leading Role for Crazy Heart, and his speech was one of my favorites, as he praised his parents for bestowing on him their love of show biz.Â Precious was a big winner in many areas, including in the writing department for best adapted screenplay.Â In my opinion, the most glaring omission was Inglorious Basterds, as I truly thought that film deserved to win something.Â A movie that most certainly intrigued people was The Cove, which won for Best Documentary.Â I doubt many had even heard of it prior to last night, but the few clips they showed undoubtedly shocked, as the slaughter of innocent dolphins in Japan was brutally portrayed in clips (including one that showed a dolphin that had been shot going under and another of a sea of their blood).Â For a full list of winners and their acceptance speeches, you can go to the Oscar web site.
The “In Memoriam” part of the show always gets me, and James Taylor sang as they paid tribute to this past year’s fallen stars.Â It was touching although, as TMZ did point out, Farrah Fawcett was a glaring omission.Â The most amazing tribute of the night was the montage of John Hughes’ films, as we lost the talented director this past year way before his time should have come.Â Everyone at home was undoubtedly reminiscing about his films and which among them were their favorites (although Molly Ringwald looked like some sort of giant alien, didn’t she?).
Now, on to the most important part of the evening – The Red Carpet and the fashion hits and misses.Â Unfortunately for me, there weren’t all that many “misses” in my opinion, which always makes me sad, as the best part is sitting at home looking like an absolute slob yet still feeling entitled to my scathing opinions.Â One dress that I noticed ended up on TMZ’s bad list was Sarah Jessica Parker‘s Roman-looking number, but I liked it, and I love that she always goes for the gusto when it comes to getting dressed.Â So many people bore the bajeezuz out of me with their nude dresses and simple jewelry.Â Another one on their bad list that I actually liked was Maggie Gyllenhall‘s seemingly tie dyed blue and black fitted dress.Â Call me tacky, I guess, but I thought she looked beautiful.Â I also loved Elizabeth Banks‘ beautiful gray dress with the frilly, flamenco-style bottom.Â Demi Moore had a similar dress on but in a sort of interesting apricot color, and she looks as though she’s gone in some sort of cryogenic preservation machine.Â Come on, seriously, how does she still look that good?Â Girlfriend is practicing some sort of voo doo with Ashton Kutcher.Â The most gorgeous of the evening, in my humble opinion, was Charlize Theron in her purple/mauve number that highlighted her assets, no doubt.Â Despite what looked to be two hands holding her boobies, she looked breathtakingly stunning.
Sadly, I thought Tina Fey looked quite bad in that overdone one-shoulder boring black number and ’80s hair with high bangs.Â Girl, I still love you, but hire a new stylist.Â Diane Kruger‘s dress was also a bit of an abomination, with a black lace tie around her neck that seemed to be strangling her all evening.Â Although Sandra Bullock has ended up on most sites’ good lists, I didn’t love that gold dress but, more importantly, that dark lipstick and the Phyllis Diller eye brows were not working for me.Â And the highly talented Vera Farmiga…what can I say about that fuchsia dress?Â In a word:Â hideous.Â But I’d love to borrow it for a “bad prom dress party” I have coming up in a few months.
For people like me who live for drama, falls, forgotten tributes, embarrassing incidents, and people wearing swans around their necks, I must say last night was definitely more on the safe side.Â But it was fairly entertaining none-the-less.Â Check out Sandra Bullock’s acceptance speech below.