Season 7 of Weeds kicked off on Sunday, and if “Bags” is any indication, the veteran Showtime comedy has not changed much.
Last season ended with everyone but Nancy and baby Stevie getting on a plane with Plan C in full effect. What’s Plan C? Get the children out.
Through the magic of television, this season opens three years in the future, with Nancy sitting down before a parole board. The bickering board immediately releases her to a halfway house, before she has served even half her sentence for manslaughter. Nancy is less than thrilled which would be confusing, but it becomes clear that Nancy’s supreme survival skills kicked in, and that she made a deal with the Feds through Agent Lipschitz and that he promised her witness protection, not a halfway house.
After some, “I’m not moving,” Nancy is back in her cell and grabbing her stuff while crying/telling her cellmate/lover Zoya her woes. The kissing and grabbing and catcalls from other inmates soon make it clear that Nancy’s ability to latch onto whomever can protect her is still golden. After all, what would Weeds be without someone pining for Nancy? Zoya inexplicably gives Nancy two oven mitts and tells her to get their dream ready. Oh, Zoya, Nancy is so not a girl to keep the hearth fires warm for you, especially when you are going to be separated for a good long while. A long attention span is not one of Nancy’s strong suits.
Nancy grabs the mitts, her bus ticket, and $100 and is off and running to… Manhattan. Who knew? There she meets Agent Lipschitz and learns that she isn’t in witness protection because Esteban is dead, killed in prison. Goodbye, DemiÃ¡n Bichir, thank you for bringing the pretty.
Nancy then gets the tour from the rhyming halfway house director. Seriously, if that continues all season, it might get a little grating. Nancy suckers the director into feeling sorry for her (of course), and she quickly makes her way to an internet cafÃ© and Skypes her sister Jill and StevieÂ—who calls her An-Nancy. Nancy might have a slightly tougher time prying Stevie out of her sister’s arms than she thought.
Next stop? A sauna. A sauna? Yep, after trying to oust another woman, Nancy pulls on the oven mitts and starts flipping over the hot stones and finds one with an embedded key. A quick trip to a garage reveals a battered car with a carry-on filled with grenades and other incendiary devices. Is the show title changing from Weeds to Arms?
You might be wondering, where are the boys? In Copenhagen, of course. Silas is a model. Shane is a boytoy/puppeteer. Andy is a tour guide and half-hearted politician. Doug is Doug. Jill lets the boys know that Nancy is out, against her wishes. Shane springs into action, buying tickets to New York for Andy, Doug, and himself, because after all, mom’s been rehabilitated. Except not, but there’s the whole season for Shane to figure that out for himself. Silas is staying put, at least for now. It seems very unlikely that he will not be moving very soon, though.
So, what did you think? Did “Bags” thrill you? Disappoint you? Leave you feeling meh?