Big Bellied Genie
[Struble, scruble, grumble, mumble, *POP*] “I just got to lose some weight.”
“What? I just rubbed this lamp, hoping a genie would come up and what do I get? I get a beer bellied ghostthingymcbob? Just my luck.”
“Well, you little squirtress, I oughta bop you one.”
“Heck, you couldn’t bop me one or even two – you’re so fat, I bet you can’t even touch your toes. Got beer?”
“Yeah, sure… Hey, wait a minute. You’re too young for beer and my only job is to grant you three wishes.”
“Sorta thought you’d say that.”
“You are one grumpy fat genie. Were you ever happy? Why are you stuck in a lamp, only allowed out when someone rubs you the right way? What happens if someone rubs you wrongish? What if a cat rubs you? Do you ever grow old? Where do you go when you grow oldish?”
“Too many questions for such a young squirt.”
“How am I to learn?”
“Not my problem. My only job is to grant you three wishes.” The genie was quickly getting a sunburn on his flabby tummy as they talked.
“Boy, you are grumpy. Fine then. I shall wish you to be happy for the rest of your life.”
“Bah, I can’t be given a wish.”
“But, you are duty bound to grant my wish and that is what I want.”
“This goes beyond the resonance of my abilities.”
“But you have to. It is your duty.”
“You must! And, if you cannot, then I shall not make another wishthingy.”
“Fine, but I will be severely punished.” The genie wished himself happy and quickly hoppitied it into his lamp, whereupon, the little scamp knocked on it soundly, forcing the genie back out to the burning sun.
“Hahahaha, look at me. I’m bright red. Belly’s got a sun burn. Hahaha.”
“Come with me. I’ll take you home and my mama will make it all better.” Off to the scampette’s home they went, but momma wasn’t home.
“Hahahaha, tell me your other two wishes.”
“Well, I wish that you have every wish you desire.” With that, the little kid got a beer out for the genie.
“If I wish for only good, then my piers cannot deny this wish. It is done. Hahahaha. Now I wish for another beer.”
The little kid and the genie sat and talked for hours, mostly of the genie’s travels, spanning hundreds of years. The sad truth came out as the genie forgot his story was to remain a secret (due to the many beers) and spilled the beankettle. “We were a family of genies, living in a lovely valley where trees and grasses grew. Flowers were everywhere. Life was good and we thought we had no worts. But one day, a wort happened upon me while I was flirting with a flowerette. He grabbed me and stuck me in this lamp. I will say, he had good decorating taste, but I’ve been stuck here ever since I granted him his three wishes. [Giggle, snigle] Got another burper?”
“Then, I wish that you were free from that lamp.”
“Hahahah, giggle, doneit. I’m no longer tied to that silly oil-burning thingy and I believe I’ll take a nap.”
“Uh-oh. Momma you’re home early.”
Momma dropped her bagarites and screamed, “What have you let your daddy do? I told you to make sure he didn’t get into the beer.”
“But, Ma. He’s happy and he’s so much fun when he’s snockered.”
Copyright 2013 Pam Brittain. All rights reserved.
The challenge was: Become a semanbulist (yes, I made that up) or neologist, and mess with the form or meaning of an existing word, glue two or more words together to form something new, or pull a completely made-up word out of thin air, and use it in a post.