Bill Clinton had ‘em rolling in the aisles at the Gridiron Dinner, D.C.’s annual meeting of politicians and the press, poking fun at himself, Barack Obama, Fox, and … Dancing with the Stars???
Clinton, filling in for Obama — who had his hands full with some guy called Healthcare Bill? Whatevs! — opened his March 20 remarks by saying that he regretted having to appear without “either of the Bushes,” referring to his disaster-relief partners, George H.W. Bush and George W. Bush. “I’m used to having them by my side when I walk into a disaster area,” Clinton said.
Oh, but he was just getting started. Regarding healthcare, he said, “It may not happen in my lifetime, or Dick Cheney’s, but hopefully by Easter,” later adding that his new favorite cocktail is “Lipitor on the rocks.”
But wait there’s more:
On Obama’s recent appearance on Fox News: He was “keeping his word about meeting with hostile leaders without preconditions.”
On Rahm Emanuel, Obama’s legendarily short-tempered Chief of Staff who also worked in the Clinton White House: “I found Rahm. I created him. I made him what he is today. I am so sorry.”
On why he was free last night: “Since they turned me down for Dancing With the Stars, I had nothing better to do.”
On Orrin Hatch, who spoke earlier in the evening: “Orrin, he’s the wittiest of all the Republicans. That ‘s sort of like saying he’s the tallest of the Seven Dwarfs.”
On Democrats seeking kickbacks to vote for the health-care legislation: “I flew here from Cleveland, and I flew out of the Dennis Kucinich Airport.”
Perhaps one of the better lines of the night, however, belonged to Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-MO), who proclaimed: “In Washington, we know there’s a huge difference between a prostitute and a politician. There are some things a prostitute won’t do.”
Somewhere, Joe “Shecky” Biden was firing his comedy writers.
Here’s a video of some big DC types reviewing the evening: