Carrie Prejean Sex Tape Scuttles Settlement

Filed in Gather News Channel by on November 4, 2009 0 Comments

TMZ was the first to report the 1 mil settlement sought by embattled former Miss California contestant Carrie Prejean went south when the pageant revealed they had her performing in a homemade sex tape. Carrie Prejean, for those of you not following beauty pageants like me, was the one who caused all that scandal when Perez Hilton asked her views on same-sex marriage (she was opposed). The story then got even saucier when topless pics of Carrie Prejean surfaced, she was stripped of the title (rarr!), it was discovered the pageant paid for her breast implants, and suddenly lawsuits were bandied about.

And how did a story this sordid get sorted you ask? With the bastion of good ol’ wholesome American morals Miss California holding hostage Carrie Prejean with her own sex tape. Seriously, if this sort of story was put into a screenplay, people wouldn’t believe it. You can’t make up stories this good.

Now I’ve always been a fan of when beauty pageant contestants fall from grace, and this Carrie Prejean sex tape is by no means an exception. Consider my whistle wetted and my attention focused to laser intensity. I give it another three days (max) before said sex tape ends up on the web. Carrie Prejean will then again sue the pageant for slander or something, sales of her book will skyrocket, and we’ll have a new pop celebrity to aspire to the heights set out by the likes of Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian.

God bless America.

PS – how do you like that title? I’m particularly proud of the alliteration: “Carrie Prejean Sex Tape Scuttles Settlement”. Pretty proud of that sordid/sorted line too.  I’m a freaking poet or something!

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Don't know what to say... I grew a beard once. It itched. The end.

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