In a whimsical nod to the May 21st doomsday, the Centers for Disease Control have come out with an internet guide on how to survive a zombie apocalypse. That’s right. The CDC is giving the general public advice on how to deal with all those pesky un-dead hordes who want to feast upon your brains.
The post, entitled, “Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse,” hit the CDC’s website on Monday and is gaining notoriety as May 21st quickly approaches. The tongue-in-cheek advice includes a few paragraphs on the history of zombies, which also includes a fictional virus called solanum which “causes” the condition upon death. The post then wisely gives advice on how to survive. Such tips include having two meeting places for your family – one near your home and one farther away, stocking up on water, food and medications, and planning an evacuation route, to name a few. If you’re unsure about the types of disasters that could happen and subsequently cause a bunch of zombies to roam your neighborhood, the CDC advises you to call a Red Cross in your area.
The agency did nothing to address actually doing battle with zombies, which is quite puzzling, but could be due to liability reasons. Astute commenters, however, were more than helpful in that area. One person, identified as Donovan Young, wrote:
I might suggest adding a baseball bat, preferably aluminum, to your emergency kit as well. It doesn’t require ammunition and can be highly effective at clearing a path through hordes of zombies whilst trying to make good your escape.
The CDC also says that in the event of a bona fide zombie apocalypse, the agency will “conduct an investigation much like any disease outbreak.” That’s really reassuring, unless, of course, those in charge of the CDC turn out the be zombies. Then we’re all pretty much doomed.