Courtney Stodden is the Creepiest Teen Bride on Earth

Filed in Gather Celeb News Channel by on October 8, 2011 0 Comments

Courtney Stodden made headlines recently when she married a man who is possibly old enough to be her grandfather, or at least an old dad. What’s more, she was 16 when they wed. She married the guy that played “Horace” on the hit ABC series Lost, and as it turns out, he’s rather strange in real life just as he was as his character on the program. But it’s probably apparent that this guy isn’t who turned Stodden into such a weirdo.

First of all, Courtney Stodden should be the poster child for what happens when you put your toddlers in beauty pageants and whatnot. Not saying she was one of those toddlers in tiaras, but it wouldn’t be surprising if she was. At 16 years old she goes at great lengths to look like a more tired version of Jenna Jameson and spends her time sending some strange, ridiculous tweets from her Twitter account. What’s creepier is how she reveals the details of her wedding night with the weird old guy she married:

We went to the Chateau in Hollywood. It was so beautiful it was a wonderful experience. I was aroused for 24 hours straight.

Now after you’re done vomiting from the mental image of a 50-something-year-old slapping his half-century-old flab against a 16-year-old (now 17), have a larf at what she says about attending college. Apparently this genius thinks there’s a class in “Doug” offered in universities. Doug is that old guy’s name by the way.

I would go to college and study all of Doug. All of his body, and all the elements within that. What they do and what they still do. It would be a lot of fun.

Courtney Stodden needs that guy apparently. She needs a father figure to at least explain to her that the “tired cocktail waitress” look has been out since 1987, unless she aspires to actually be a cocktail waitress. She needs to be taught that there is no Doug 101 in college, and she should lose the thesaurus because her Twitter is absolutely freaky on so many levels of grammar and general weirdness. Can someone please explain how a teenager turns out this weird and downright self-exploitive? Nevermind… Chances are she never had a chance to show the therapist on the doll where she was touched at some point. That seems like the only logical explanation.

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©2011 Chelsea Hoffman is the Author of “Chloe and Louis,” and the “Fear Chronicles,” series of books. She also covers a myriad of true crime stories online. Click here to visit Chelsea Hoffman’s official blog and contact website. Be sure to like the page to become a fan!

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