So, “Dance Moms” fans, another season begins… Abby Lee is still, well, insane is a word that comes to mind, the moms are snarkier than ever, and the girls that dance for them haven’t quit yet. All of the makings of a second season. Especially when Abby is running around shrieking, “Everyone is replaceable!”
Abby Lee, owner and evil mastermind of the Abby Lee Dance Company, decides to give her young charges a lesson in crippling self-esteem by introducing the ‘pyramid.’ If you’re good enough…enjoy your place at the top. If you’re not good enough, get to the bottom and prop the good ones up. One would think that this would be enough drama in and of itself, but no, the actual drama comes with Abby freaking out all over the place that Nia’s mother, Holly, is not present for the shaming of adolescent girls, because Holly has one of these things called a job. Gasp! The horror of it all. How dare Holly work to provide for her children when she could be sitting in an observation deck on a couch watching the public shame of her daughter and her peers?
But the most epic part of that exchange wasn’t the punishing a working mother, no… it was the implication that Holly had to be there because Nia was ‘not that sharp’ as Abby put it. So Holly, not only are you an absentee mother, but your kid is dumb, too. Make your checks payable to “Abby Lee Dance Company” and Nia’s therapist in 10 years or so.
After the big pyramid reveal, it’s time to get ready for the first competition of the season. In only three days. In addition to cramming for the trip with long rehearsals, there is also the task at hand of holding auditions for Vivi’s replacement after Abby dismissed Cathy last season for her ‘committment’ issues.
Well what does Cathy do? Have her own pyramid of shame in her own dance studio, of course! Why should things be any different? Only her pyramid had a fancy touch screen reveal, which of course upped the class factor.
Back in Pittsburgh, the auditions are under way, and Abby Lee is in her element crushing the dreams of young girls that want to dance. She’s kind of like Godzilla as she walks through the tryouts calling out numbers and sending girls on their way. Peyton’s mom has a high-speed come apart when her daughter isn’t chosen for the competition squad because she’s too old and tall for the group. That seemed odd and staged, but dramatic, nonetheless.
Kendall ends up being chosen, and the other moms get all worked up into a tizzy because this means the addition of Jill to their group. Jill is not to be trusted because she’s…wait for it…nice. Yes. Nice people are highly suspicious. Fear the nice people. Especially when a nut like dance mom Christi is leading this charge. But the moms naturally act fake and nice themselves in welcoming Jill to the fold.
It’s competition time, and Holly tries to tell Abby that she’s not going to make it because of that horrible thing called work again, and Abby rolls up her window and gives Holly the cold shoulder. Wow.
Jill has Kendall give Abby a suck-up gift of Chanel perfume, which brings the snark of the night from Chloe’s mom, “I would have given her three months of weight watchers.”
The competition is rather ho-hum. The girls are a little rusty and nervous for the most part, but end up placing well. Kendall was scared to death and performed the worst because she had the big threat of ‘probation’ hanging over her head. A word that the kid probably doesn’t even understand. All she knows is that it’s bad, and to be scared of the crazy lady screaming it.
After the competition, Kelly and Abby get into it, which has a bunch of nonsensical yelling involved about paying on time, Discover cards, and Kelly finally calling Abby a bad name. Awesome examples ladies. Stellar.
So that’s what happened this week on “Dance Moms.” Next week the drama gets even worse when Cathy returns and goes head to head with Abby and there’s an age scandal among the girls!