Dear Planet Earth,
I think Iâ€™m in love. Some say opposites attract, some say absence makes the heart grow fonder. I sayÂ full scale invasions of our planet lead to strong,Â monogamousÂ relationships.
Diana works at the front deskÂ here at the Bellagio. Or at least sheâ€™s pretending to. SheÂ was a sophomore at UNLVÂ (University of Nevada, Las Vegas) until the tremors hit and they decided to cancel classes indefinitely. With nothing to do, my ambitious amour decided to fulfill her lifelong dream of working at one of the ritziest hotels in Las Vegas. She hired herself since most of the staff had already abandoned their lives here to flee west. This is pretty much how I and, according to Diana, countless other young vagabonds scored free hotel rooms (though strangely enough, not a singleÂ homeless person has tried).
But Iâ€™m getting off point here. The point is Iâ€™m in love. Diana Sunday is smart, funny, and has tits the size of my id. Sheâ€™s everything Iâ€™ve imagined college girls to be. Even her name sounds cultured, right out of aÂ James Bond film.
Weâ€™ve spent the past two days together and tomorrow weâ€™re planning to trek outside the city to investigate thatÂ strange object I took a picture of the other day. Sheâ€™s betting me $500 in spa credit that itâ€™s an alien spaceship, but Iâ€™m starting to lean towards something more terroristy. This isnâ€™t exactly how I pictured my first date with a girl would be.
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