Drop Dead Diva opens with a funeral, but it’s immediately clear that this is a nightmare since Joan Rivers is the officiant. The deceased? Jane (Brooke Elliott) and Owen’s relationship. The funeral takes a rapid turn for the worse when Joan asks what the heck happened and Teri (Margaret Cho), Kim (Kate Levering), Grayson (Jackson Hurst), Parker (Josh Stamberg) and Luke (Carter MacIntyre) all offer opinions on Jane’s deficiencies. Luckily, that’s when the alarm goes off.
Jane tells Stacey (April Bowlby) all about her nightmare as she gets ready to go to work. Stacey wants to know how she’s going to the office since it was shuttered by the FBI. Turns out that the shutdown was very temporary. At the staff meeting, Parker reveals that Gina’s buy in was actually a sting operation. Kim is livid that he didn’t tell her. Parker being Parker doesn’t get it. How much doesn’t he get? He sends her apology flowers. Great if he’s the boyfriend, as a business partner apologizing for keeping her out of the loop? Oh, and Luke is back.
Jane and Grayson have a new client, Kathy (Rosalie Ward). Her fiancÃ© Scott died less than a week before the wedding. Within the last year, Scott made a webcam video will that was sent to her once his death was confirmed. It states that he wants to be with her body and soul. The problem is his will, made before the video, left everything to his stepmother Caitlin, including his ashes. Jane is concerned when they realize that Kathy sees and talks to Scott’s ghost, but Grayson tells Jane that everyone grieves in their own way.
Caitlin (Kim Johnston Ulrich) wants to scatter the ashes where his father’s were scattered, per Scott’s wishes as she knows them. He never mentioned anything about wanting Kathy to have his ashes. They go to court.
After hearing testimony from the website owner, the judge (Bruce Davison) is inclined to give the ashes to Kathy, but then Caitlin’s lawyer (Adam Harrington) calls Kathy’s sister to the stand. She testifies that Kathy has been eating the ashes. Jane and Grayson try to argue that what Kathy is doing isn’t irrational, but when she sees Scott while on the stand, the judge awards the cremains to Caitlin. Kathy passes out on the stand.
Kathy wakes up in the hospital. Grayson and Jane tell her that the doctors ran tests and she has heavy metal poisoning from ingesting Scott’s ashes and that can lead to hallucinations. Kathy is devastated.
All seems lost until Jane and Grayson discover that Kathy has thallium poisoning, also known as inheritance powder according to Jane. Grayson is duly impressed that she knew that piece of trivia. They go to the judge to get a warrant for the return of the ashes because they believe that Caitlin poisoned Scott because he was due to inherit a boatload of money on his 25th birthday, but because he died single and before reaching that milestone, the boatload went to his stepmother. The judge signs the order, but it’s too late. She already dumped the ashes/evidence.
They go to visit Kathy because Jane thinks Kathy probably kept some of the ashes, and she had, but unfortunately she ate the last of it just before they came. Jane has an idea. She calls the stepmother to return some ashes to her, claiming Kathy had kept it. Before she hands it over, she tells her that she had it tested and it tests positive for thallium, and if she does pay her off, she’s going to give the ashes to the police. The wicked stepmother writes out a check and the police swoop in to arrest her because of course it was a sting operation.
Oh, and Teri’s music career is taking off. She placed first in the 2012 Rock Off and has decided that she needs to Lady Gaga herself. She unveils “Lady Bodacious,” a white-haired, wig wearing, leather clothed diva. She asks Luke for a loan of $1,000 for studio fees. Luke is suspicious and goes to visit the studio. He realizes it’s a scam when he runs into another first place 2012 Rock Off contestant. He breaks it to Teri by inviting her to the other winner’s coffee shop concert. Teri isn’t one to cry into her beer, so she sics the Better Business Bureau on the studio. Teri also counsels Parker on how to make it up to Kim, and so he goes to her and asks her to run the next corporate shareholders meeting. If her smile is anything to go by, he’s forgiven.
And now the part that everyone’s been wondering about. Owen is back and he wants to talk. Jane walks away from him at first. Stacey tells her that she needs to say her piece to him. The next time he comes to see her, she tries to ignore him, but he stops the elevator and rips open his shirt. He went to the Mayo clinic for tests and had a heart attack. He’s been in a medically induced coma. As excuses go, this is really good. Jane tells him to come over at 7.
Jane waits for Owen in a dress that tells him let’s forget the past few weeks, at least according to Stacey who reads fashion statements. Jane looks beautiful. Owen tells her that the heart attack made him think. He takes back the proposal. Jane rips into him and tells him that she’s leaving him. Looking great doesn’t mend her heart, but maybe it makes him regret it just a bit.
After Caitlin is arrested, Grayson tells Jane that she never gives up, spurring Jane to go to Owen and propose. She tells him she loves him and that life is fleeting. She does demand that he text her if something like this happens again. He can’t say no. The engagement is back on.
Photo Credit: Lifetime – Drop Dead Diva