Fat Tuesday, Paczi Day, and NBC Olympic Coverage are all happening today. What an amazing coincidence. NNN researchers have discovered that Paczi Day is a Polish national holiday celebrated during the Winter Olympics. Paczi are small effigies of ice dancers, cross country skiers, and biathloners made from marzipan or whipped coconut oil. They are served on toast points with vodka.
NNN reveals, for the first time anywhere, that Fat Tuesday is English for the Latin expression post coitum omnia animalia tristia sunt. It is traditionally observed as the kickoff of Lent. Lent began in Sumeria about 5,000 years ago. Worshipers of Astarte, the Ashteroth of the Old Testament, would give up sexual congress for several weeks preceding the ritual Marriage of the Godhead. Thus the origin of the expression “saving it for marriage.”
Events on tap today on NBC include Crevassing, the event where burly contestants compete in flinging the old and infirm into crevasses, Frostbite, an event where athletes expose themselves to intense cold with the object of achieving maximum frostbite with minimum amputation, and extreme curling, a new event that combines elements of curling, artillery practice, and surfing.
Interesting foreign language fun fact: NNN researchers have discovered that the real French names for the days of the week are Atchoum, Dormeur, Grincheux, Joyeux, Prof, Simplet, and Timide. First year French students in English speaking countries have been taught the bowdlerized list of day names since the Victorian era.