Find your Way Past the Negativity

Filed in Gather Family Essential by on July 5, 2011 0 Comments

When it seems that every where you look you are surrounded by trouble and negativitity, take a few minutes and explore the situation. So often, negativitity breads more negativitity because of the overwhelming feeling that it creates. When one thing goes bad and we are so busy thinking about it, we lose sight of some of the possibilities around us. Yeah, I know it sounds like a bunch of jibberish, but it is so true. Hang with me a few minutes and I’ll explain.

When you are wrapped up in a problem whether it be where to get the money for the next payment that is due or even what to do since you didn’t get the job you had been dreaming of, then you put your energy towards that problem. Your energy is actually being spent to make you feel worse. Huh, you said. Think about it. When you feel overwhelmed by a problem, do you spend much more time thinking about it? Well, duh, of course you do. The act of thinking about the situation takes energy away from other activities including activities that could possibly turn the negative around.

Instead of just dwelling on the problems, be proactive about them. Explore the situation and determine what caused it. Now, don’t take forever with this step. The cause of the problem is only useful to the point that if you know the cause, you may can prevent the problem from reoccuring. It doesn’t take a genius to recognize the fact that the rent money is not in the bank account because you went out dancing or shopping instead of paying the rent. The solution is relatively simple yet difficult at the same time. The same thing applies to a lot of problems we face on a day to day basis.

If the cause of the problem is simpe to determine and simple to correct, then by all means, take the steps to fix it immediately! Pay the rent before going shopping or dancing. Don’t take more money with you than you can afford to spend and still live within your budget. Don’t have a budget? Well, make one! Whatever it takes to solve the simple problems, just take the first proactive step and keep taking them until it is solved. Don’t let the negativity take root and make the problem worse.

If the problem is more complex and the cause can not be easily determined, then it may be mroe difficult finding the solution. Start with making a plan. What exactly is the problem? Is it that there are too many people living in the same house, people not pulling their own weight with the household finances, a lack of respect for others, or is it simply a matter of failure to communicate in a proper way. Sometimes you have to ask yourself, what did I do to make this worse and what can I do to make it better. Can I find a better way of communicating my expectations? Are my expectations too high? Is there a way of working towards my expectations in a set of smaller steps instead of one giant leap?

Basically, take some time to truly look at the problem and all of the possible solutions, especially the ones that involve changes you make yourself. If our spouse or child is constantly spending too much money, are we enabling them to do so? If someone is always asking more and more of you to the point where you are expected to do more than you are comfortable with, have you taken the time to set up boundaries?

Don’t react, plan and be proactive in preventing the situation of becoming a giant snowball of negativitity rolling down the hill growing ever bigger with each moment. If necessary, make a written list of what is bothering you about the situation and all the possibilities of resolving it and preventing it from happening again. Be honest. Don’t put the blame on someone else if you could have done something to prevent or minimize the damage. Stand up and be responsible. Once you see that no problem is completely one person’s fault but instead is a series of situations that have led to this time and place, then you can get beyond the overwhelming feelings of the negativity and take the proper steps to finding a solution that will work. Hang in there, we all face problems in our life. They are just opportunities for seeing our strengths.

About the Author ()

I'm as old as dirt and as big as the broad side of the barn. I'm a little shy but you may not realize that because I spend so much time speaking honestly from my heart. I cry when I hear of someone hurt or having problems, even if it is just a movie. I t

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