©2011 Robert C Burnham (all rights reserved)


They want me to buy plastic

Pink flamingoes

And lawn chairs with multi-colored straps

They want me to eat “early bird”

Because my night vision

Scares the hell out of them

And if I eat dinner two hours after lunch

I’ll save tons of money


They also require I purchase

A Twenty-foot-long Cadillac

So my blue-haired wife will remain

Uninjured, as she runs over everything

That is nailed down, and

For the pilgrimage to Orlando

To pay homage to Saint Walt

Of the Disney Diocese


If you don’t have that New York accent


You can move to Jersey or Arizona

Just don’t expect to see

The Red Sox or the Yankees,

Their money is in Florida

Where yours should be





I got the term ‘blue-haired’, synonym for old lady, from an engineer from Holland, Martijn was his name, I worked with on the Carolina Bays Project back in 2001.  I held on to the phrase all this time, knowing someday it would come in handy and today’s that day.  I believe I mentioned something about Florida to which my new foreign friend responded, “ahh the land of the Blue-hairs”.



About the Author ()

My trade and I parted ways... I am now a Geography Major at UNC. And I am still a Christian Cowboy Werewolf Writer, Poet & Photographer.

Leave a Reply