Honesty

Filed in Gather Writing Essential by on January 22, 2009 0 Comments

"if he'd stopped to think, he'd've realized that Clinton was married at the time – something which would open him up to blackmail and worse"

I read this statement on Will's blog about the controversy surrounding a gay mayor sleeping with one of his male interns who was of legal age of consent.  I replied thusly:

Now, see? If people were honest with their partners about what they were doing, there would be no way to blackmail people over something like that. Screw what anybody else thinks.

In my marriage of 15 years, my wife ran around a few times. The first time it happened, she tried to lie and cover it up, but I told her I knew better and I'd rather her be honest with me about it. I told her that in the future, I'd rather her tell me so I don't worry about what happened to her when she didn't come home for a day or two and she agreed.

It didn't happen too often, but when she'd meet someone and want to have a romp with them, she'd call me and let me know what was happening. Yes, it took me a couple of weeks to get over her unfaithfulness, but at least she was honest with me and I knew she would return. It saved a lot of stress in the marriage.

Honesty may hurt a little in the present, but the effects dissipate much more rapidly than the effects of continually lying about things. Yes, some feelings might get hurt for awhile when you tell the truth, but so what? You got things out in the open where you could deal with them and get past them. Secrets and lies rarely protect anyone in the long run. They just make things build up into something much, much worse later down the road.

When we're honest with one another, we can better understand each other and better understand ourselves as well.  If a person willingly consents to something and power is not abused in the situation, as long as they are of sound mind, why is there so much controversy stirred over it?  As long as one individual is not harming another, has any real harm been done?

One person might think, "WELL!  THAT'S disGUSting."  Of course, some people think normal sex between two married individuals is disgusting, but we won't get into that at present.

People have set up belief systems and laws trying to make other people conform to their ideology.  There are many laws which are not there for the protection of others, but for the protection of certain peoples' own standards and beliefs.  I have no problem with people believing one way or another, but when they try to force it on others through rule of law and through force, I think they're flat out wrong, especially in a country that touts itself as being the "land of the free."

People have taken away other peoples' liberties and rights to make their own decisions about their lives for far too long.  Some people would outlaw certain genders wearing certain colors in public, I'm sure, if they thought they could get away with it.  Some people want to make laws against anything they perceive as disgusting, be it smoking, drinking, dancing, kissing, sitting too close to a member of the opposite sex, etc.  You think I'm kidding?  Those rules were enforced on the campus of Florida College by security guards and spies with cameras the semester I went there.  I didn't even finish the semester there because I was so fed up with their hypocrisy, especially because they took one couple up on stage and humiliated them in front of the entire campus for "Going to a pizza place, drinking part of one beer, and kissing in the car!"  For SHAME!  How DARE they?  Good Christians don't DO things like that!

Both of them were harassed and ridiculed by the entire population of the campus, save for me.  I would try to talk to her and comfort her and she couldn't even raise her eyes to me.I could have taken advantage of the fact that she had tried to make a fool out of me and spread it around campus before that and used this incident as an excuse to belittle her and make her feel like a fool, but I didn't.  I looked beyond the petty little trick she tried to pull on me and had compassion on her. It was pretty much the same when I tried to talk to and comfort him.

When you've been a witness to this kind of ridiculous nonsense, if you have even HALF a brain, you get a little peeved when you see legislature trying to pass similar laws to be enforced on the entire population.

Oh, the couple who were humiliated?  The woman lived not too far from where I lived in Houston.  After talking to her for about a year and constantly re-assuring her that she had no reason to feel humiliated, I was able to convince her to sue the college for what they had done.  She did.  The result?  She won.  I'm sure it saved others from having to bear the same kind of ridiculous humiliation and scorn that she went through on that campus.

I moved to Texas City to work after that and lost contact with her, but I still remember her quite plainly.  I sometimes wonder what became of her after that, but it's really none of my concern.

If we can learn to look past hurts of the past and move forward into something better instead of constantly digging up and re-hashing what happened to us.  All it takes is fining love in our hearts and compassion for our fellow man.

On that note, to my friends:

Love, Hope, Peace, and Christ Is With Us All,

Cal-el

About the Author ()

Singer/songwriter, video creator, writer, poet, peacemaker, sometimes actor, activist, who strives to educate those who haven't had the benefit of higher education.

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