In Memory of Brian Austin Green

Filed in Gather Entertainment News Channel by on February 25, 2009 0 Comments

I know I was making fun of Brian Austin Green a bit yesterday when I reported he and Megan Fox broke off their engagement, but after a day has gone by I now regret my rather rash lasing out. And since I am man enough to admit when I am wrong, let me be the first to say yesterdayÂ’s backlash was entirely due to the fact I envied Brian Austin Green. And after a little bit of research today, I learned I should have been doing so for quite a while.

But now I just feel sorry for Brian Austin Green.

For those of you not in the know, Brian Austin Green came to fame in the most intellectually voided (and I’m using that word in the sense of ‘poop’) show of the 1990’s: Beverly Hills 90210. He became a DJ for a while (even released a record) and now works on the new Terminator show (is that still on?). But what Brian Austin Green is most famous for is (was) getting on the train of super-hottie Megan Fox before it had first left the station. And, like a miniature Hugh Hefner, he was 35 when she was 22. With a bit more research I learned Brian Austin Green is no stranger for the big win in the Hollywood starlet dating lottery: He dated Tiffany Amber Thiessen when she at the height of her deliciousness. And what man hasn’t almost called out “Kelly” when in flagrante with his lady-fare? Hmmm?

So yes, I do now pity Brian Austin Green: There was a time when he envied no man, when we made fun of him and his “acting” because, frankly, we were bitten by the jealousy monster. But those halcyon days are most likely over for Brian Austin Green, as he ends up as a footnote in the biography of Megan Fox. This will be the last time when his name is probably spoken and recognition sparks in the eyes of the one addressed. As we speak, he passes from the cultural consciousness.

And if anyone thinks we will remember him, let me ask you this: Who is Jonny Lee Miller?

 

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Don't know what to say... I grew a beard once. It itched. The end.

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