Jed Clampett versus Brad Pitt – Sex appeal

I was going to compare Jed with Donny Osmond, but there are too many Donny Osmond obsessed fans on this site. The last thing I need is someone in a Marie wig and heels singing “Paper roses” as she’s slashing my tires.

I’m fascinated with what we consider sexy, simply because many of us have differing views as to what “sexy” is. Justin Timberlake for example tells us we should be bringing sexy back. I can only assume we will be doing this with scantily clad dancers and hot sound tracks and hot moves from other people’s girlfriends. Is that really what we want to tell our children is sexy.

I’ll be the first to admit that Brad Pitt has a great smile. But, is he as sexy as Jed Clampett? I’m going to have to say absolutely not. Some may say it isn’t a fair comparison because after all Jed’s wife was dead. But, you never heard about Jed running around on her. As far as we know she died of natural causes. Brad Pitt goes through women like changing clothes. His latest is Angelina. Jed was not only faithful to his wife, he took care of her mother as well. Let’s see Brad Pitt invite Jennifer Aniston’s mom to live with him in his Beverly Hills mansion (or whatever third world country he and Angelina happen to be visiting).

Jed would never let his woman go hungry. True, Brad makes big bucks and can buy her caviar. But, what happens when the money runs out. We’ve already seen that Jed can survive on nothing. After all the man HUNTS his own food. Jed was a man who was resourceful and he didn’t let his wealth or fame change him. Jed was out hunting for some food when he found that bubbling crude. But, he didn’t become J.R. Ewing.

Some may argue that Brad has extreme generosity for all those kids he’s letting Angelina adopt. Personally, I think Angelina has a Mia Farrow complex and she needs to be careful Brad doesn’t become Woody Allen. Angelina was adopting third world toddlers long before Brad came along. And, let’s face it, Jed wasn’t one to turn down strangers and he allowed not only granny, but also his bumbling nephew to live with him. Brad is just doing what Angelina wants to do. Jed spoke lived fromhis heart.

Jed was a great father to Elly May. The jury is still out on Brad’s parenting skills. Men who are great father’s are sexy. It remains to be seen if Brad is or not. But, I’m not sure he can top the patience and generosity towards his children that Jed showed when Elly May brought home squirrels, raccoons and other creatures that Jed would have preferred to fricassee. I'm not sure Brad could deal with that either.

This brings me back to Justin Timberlake. If you want to bring back sexy, you need to realize, true sexy is about more than what you see on a dance floor. True sexy is even less about being named a sexiest man. Look at Alec Baldwin. He used to be considered sexy because of his looks. People rarely call him sexy anymore. That’s false sexy. Women don’t always find older men sexy because of their hot bods. They find them sexy for their other characteristics as well. Men who remain faithful, treat their families well, treat those around them well, those men maintain their sex appeal long after their looks have begun to falter.

And that’s my word on bringing sexy back.


About the Author ()

I am both moody and driven. I bite the heads off helpless gummi bears for fun. I torture gummi worms and bite off animal crackers one body part at a time. I have a master's degree and teach high school world history. I am prone to making bad jokes ab

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