Jennifer Aniston has spent a fortune making her new home a heterosexual haven for herself and Justin Theroux. She wanted to make sure all the gay vibes were gone. What?
Strange as it sounds, Jennifer Aniston has reportedly hired an expensive Chinese feng shui expert to begin “exorcising” bad vibes” from her newly purchased New York apartment to make it more “conducive to romance and fertility.” On other words, she wants to get pregnant by her new man as quickly as possible, and she thinks rearranging the furniture will help. Of as an inside source put it:
“Before she even set foot in the place, clean-freak Jen had it sanitized, scrubbed and fumigated. Then she went into feng shui mode, making sure all her furniture was positioned just so, paying particular attention to her boudoir and the precise angle of her bed’s placement for fertility reasons.”
But Aniston’s revamping of her new home consists of more than just creative decorating. Reportedly, the Horrible Bosses star has been “meditating, chanting…” to render the place “hetero-ceptive” again. It seems the former owner was allegedly gay, and Jen wants to make sure there won’t be any lingering “leftover lesbian energy” to interfere with her relationship with Justin.
Well, it’s nice that Jennifer Aniston has apparently found the man of her dreams and she wants to have kids with him. However, using feng shui to eradicate residual gay vibes while refusing to flush toilets for financial good fortune seems a bit extreme. But, whatever works.
You go, Jen.
Â© Hope Carson 2011
Hope Carson is the author of 2 books: A Roaring Girl: An Interview with the Thinking Man’s Hooker and A Thousand and One Night Stands: The Life of Jon Vincent. You can follow her on Twitter.