If you haven’t been up at 3 am watching TruTV you’re obviously missing out on the sheer joy of Speeders – the show that rides along with police as they hand out speeding tickets, making it pretty much the most watered down version of Cops ever. But a few days ago they pulled over a Prius for going 54 in a 35 mph zone. And when they approached the vehicle they discovered the driver to be none other than Oscar winner Jodie Foster.
Jodie Foster wisely demurred from being on the show, refusing to sign the waivers to allow them to film her. Which just goes to prove what I’ve been saying for a while: If you do something for a living, don’t give it away for free. Which is, incidentally, exactly why I will never date a porn star… again.
Anywho, reports also indicate that Jodie Foster became agitated at the ticket itself and when the officer had to call his superior.
But two things don’t ring true in this Jodie Foster speeding ticket story for me:
1. She was speeding in the first place – I’m sure I’m not the only one who noted she was driving a Prius, allegedly at 54 miles an hour, and I know for a fact they can’t get over 38 mph. They are in fact hybrids you know.
2. She got a ticket at all – It’s well known that women can get out of tickets if they let the waterworks go, and Jodie Foster is a world class actress. Seems to me she would have used these talents to save herself $50. Personally I have never gotten out of a ticket in my life (including one on my birthday), and have actually considered a sex change operation simply to save myself some ticketing money each year.
These two previous well-reasoned arguments being why I believe this whole Jodie Foster speeding ticket thing to be a mass conspiracy. Like Elvis, the moon landing, global warming, and God’s unconditional love.
Want to hear more of my (probably) drunken ramblings? Check it out here at gossip.gather.com!