Johnny Depp Bags a Treasure Chest of £200M for ‘Pirate’ Films

Filed in Gather Celeb News Channel by on July 7, 2011 0 Comments

It would seem that the high priest of cool, Johnny Depp is staying true to his artistic integrity and will star in the fifth Pirates of the Caribbean film.

For an actor who used to make a point of playing unusual roles in unusual films such as Dead Man, Ed Wood, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and so forth and so on, his ever diminishing and perpetual performances in one of Walt Disney’s biggest earners is rather predictable and dreadfully dull.

Perhaps it’s the personal challenge of putting on a stupid ‘mock rasta’ wig and mincing around the place like a self-congratulatory camp Keith Richards. Or perhaps there are two hundred million other reasons Johnny boy loves playing pirates.

Namely the 200 million bucks he’s already earned from playing the part of Captain Cash Cow, sorry, Captain Jack Sparrow.

Johnny Depp’s portrayal of the pathetic pirate who wouldn’t last five minutes with a proper pirate such as Captain Morgan or Blackbeard was a quirky novelty when he first trod the boards and made us all choke on our rum in the hysterically named The Curse of the Black Pearl.

The relish and self-congratulatory way Johnny Depp played Captain Jack in Dead Man’s Chest tested the patience of some and turned the stomach of others, and by the time At World’s End rolled around many would have gladly decapitated Johnny Depp with a blunt cutlass if they ever had to listen to saucy Sparrow’s chirpy ‘mockney’ tones again.

Yet thankfully the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy was complete and the curse was lifted. Captain Jack Sparrow was consigned to history and Johnny Depp could continue making proper films.

However worrying and strange tidings were soon heard that Depp was to resurrect his pirate prince for a new film called On Strange Tides. Except it wasn’t all that strange.

File:Captain Jack Sparrow.jpg

Oh dear God no! It’s a Jack Sparrow wannabe.

It was predictable, dull and the most successful film of the year so far, taking over one billion at the worldwide box office.

Now with Depp the business person reported to have swung a ‘cash break’ deal securing himself shares in the profits of the ridiculously profitable film franchise, the 48-year-old thespian is financially light years ahead of all his Hollywood rivals.

Now why would this star who has fallen so low give all that lovely loot up for the sake of artistic integrity?

Which begs the question, “Mr. Depp isn’t it high time you walked the plank for your crimes of piracy?”

About the Author ()

Leave a Reply