Madonna Is Losing Her Mind Protecting Her DNA

Filed in Gather Celeb News Channel by on June 24, 2012 0 Comments

Madonna must really be losing her mind in her aging state. It’s being reported that the pop diva is so obsessed with protecting her DNA that she’s taken to bizarre behavior while in public and on tour. It’s being reported that her paranoia is so severe that she has her dressing rooms sterilized to avoid letting her genetic material end up in the wrong hands.

File:Madonna by David Shankbone.jpg

It seems like something out of a science fiction show doesn’t it? An aging popstar desperately clinging to her fame whilst trying her hardest to protect her precious DNA from being stolen. In a world of science run amok, you never know when someone is cloning little Madges in a makeshift science lab in their basements. You just never know. That’s why Madonna not only sterilizes everything she touches, but she makes sure that her entourage of bodyguards and assistants do so as well.

What’s next for her? Is she going to end up stretched upon a rack with constant needs to be moisturized a’la Lady Cassandra O’Brien? You could almost hear her say:

“Do wipe this place clean of my DNA, but not until you moisten me darling.”

File:Lady Cassandra.jpg

Crime analyst and profiler Chelsea Hoffman can be found on The Huffington Post, Chelsea Hoffman: Case to Case and many other outlets. Follow @TheRealChelseaH on Twitter or click here to contact Chelsea directly.

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