MWE,Monday Writing Essential – September 17, 2012: That Little Orange Box, Old People, CW

Filed in Gather Writing Essential by on September 21, 2012 0 Comments

This week’s challenge: take a chance.  Take something that you have been working on, polish it up a bit and post it.


God and Angels Love Old People

The First Day

Rex is a rancher, wealthy, with a keen eye on investments.  He knew Baby Boomer Care Center was on the verge of bankruptcy and he was thinking about buying it, since he knew he could get it at a bargain price.  But, first he wanted to check it out to see if he could turn a profit. He didn’t want anyone to suspect he was a rich investor, so he went undercover. He drove his old clunker of a 6 passenger van to the care center. He planned on checking in.

Walking with a cane, he went up to Erma Goose asking, “Is this where I check in?”

“Yes sir.  If you brought your loved ones with you, I have a few questions to ask them.”

“I ain’t got no loved ones.”

“Oh!  How did you get here?”

“How do you think?  I drove here.”

“Oh.  Well then, perhaps you’ll answer a few questions.  Do you have any doctor’s directives?”

“Yes maam.  Here it is.”  It was fake of course.  He knew that this was one of the few elderly care centers that dispensed marijuana.  What a lovely idea – make old people happy.  Here’s what the prescription said:  Two marijuana roaches per day (to keep him from suicidal thoughts), one Viagra a day (to keep him from suicidal thoughts) and two aspirins a day (to keep his heart in good shape).

She should have known it was a fake because it was legible, but she needed more roomers so she accepted it.  “If you’ll answer a few questions, we’ll get you settled in.”

“I’d like a suite, Maam.”

“We don’t have suites, but we do have a large room that we’ll put you in.  So, back to the questions.  Your age and birth date?”

“I’m 72 Maam, born 7/12/38.”

“You can call me Mrs. Goose.  Maam makes me feel old.”  She was a quite plump 60 year old.  “Sex?”


“Yes Maam.  But I’ll need my prescription of Viagra first.  Then, he leaned over and squeezed her boobs.  “My, my.  Where’s the end of them?  How far down do they sag?”

“I beg your pardon!”, slapping his hands away.


“Seems to me if we’re going to have sex, I should get a little feeler first.”

“I didn’t mean sex – I meant gender.”

“Bummer – male.”

“Your name please.”



“Last name?”


“Fine Mr. Rex, who’s your next of kin?”

“Ain’t got none.”


“What do you require in your room?  Please keep in mind that all extras make your room more costly.”

“A girl would be a good start.  Maybe a TV and computer with internet and a phone with a private line.”

Mrs. Goose is now rolling her eyes.  But, she secretly was pleased that he squeezed her boobs.  Not many men noticed her these days.  “Do you require oxygen?”

“I have lungs.  I’m alive.  Of course I require oxygen.”

“I mean do you need to have oxygen tanks in your room.”


“No Maam.”

“Stop calling me Maam.  Let’s just get you settled.  And, how will you pay?”




This is the beginning of a book I started long before I joined Gather.  It’s just the first two chapters because I didn’t want to over bore you guys.



About the Author ()

pambrittainhomepage.blogspot.comCollege of the streets. Own my own business.Love to read and am a far better editor than I am a writer.Founding President of a professional organization that successfully lobbies State legislature.F

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