My Worst Halloween

I don’t have any ghost stories to share for Halloween, but I do have a harrowing date story from a very scary Halloween night, circa 1986…I was dating a guy we’ll call Rick. We’d been dating for a year. It was our senior year in college and I had been invited to a Halloween party at my hometown best friend’s house. Her and her siblings were known for their fun parties, so this was the hottest (and one of the very few) social events of my year. (Note: this is a longer story, but I’d really appreciate the feedback.)

I had the perfect costume idea. Why not go as Mary Todd Lincoln and Abraham Lincoln? It was perfect! I offered to make Rick’s…but he said he had a top hat and a coat from his grandfather. He even promised to let a little beard grow out. In the meantime, my sister made me a long black skirt and we found a fluffy-front top at Goodwill in the big city. I also found some ankle boods. I had long hair, so pulling it back ina bun was easy enough.We experimented with some baby powder and sure enough…I was transformed into Mary Todd.

Ijust had one class that semester. It was the semester before I graduated. Rick had a full fifth year, and he had a lot of extracurricular activities, too. Those were his excuses, anyway, when he showed up (drum roll please) as RICK! Not even a top hot. Nothing. So much for our evening as Abe and Mary. But the worst was yet to come. As the party took off and guests became to arrive, I realized that no one knew what Mary Todd Lincoln looked like without Abe. I was called a witch, Carrie Nation, a puritan, a pilgrim and an old maid.

The costume was just the beginning of the Halloween Night Horror. Rick sincerely wanted to apologize. He fixed us a couple of ice-cold Dr. Peppers and suggested we go out on the porch swing. How romantic. So, we left the business of the party and stepped out onto the front porch, lit by only the moon. Well, that’s like the most romantic thing in the world. I’d have to forgive him for this one. We started swaying back and forth. He put his arm around me and pulled me in a little closer. BAM! Down came the porch swing. I guess we should have checked the weight limit, because Mary Todd and Rick exceeded it. The noise sounded like a carcrash as opposed to a porch swing falling. And Rick’s reaction was slightly-less-than-gentlemanly. Before the partiers made it outside to check on the young lovers, Rick jumped right up. No “are you okay?” No “let me help you up.” just a red face and, I believe, the hope that the parties would assume Mary Todd caused the swing to fall. The partiers, by this point they were really into the party, rushed to make sure I was okay, offered to take me to the hospital and then decided to use the porch swing to start a bon fire, since it was so old anyway.

Well, I wasn’t in the mood for the bonfire at this time. I asked Rick if he would take me home. He had no problem with my request. (I guess the date hadn’t been so hot for him, either.) We get out to this huge car he had. No, the battery wasn’t dead but the front tires were stuck.Without hesitation, Rick asked and I responded without hesitation: Amanda, the tires are stuck. Can you get out and give the car a push from the front. Sure, Rick. So, here I was in my big long Mary Todd/Witch/Old Maid garb trying to push this 1972 oldsmobile or something like it out of a muddy ditch. Luckily, some of the guys from the bonfire saw this damsel in distress and came and got the car out…giving me a few choice words about my dating habits.

I hope this trip down memory lane made you laugh. It wasn’t funny then but now I think it’s absolutely hilarious and I wouldn’t take anything for the memory. Thanks and Happy Hallowee everyone!

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