OC Housewives Reunion: An Exhibition of Bad Choices

Filed in Gather Entertainment News Channel by on March 15, 2010 0 Comments

First, we have the two-part OC reunion show.  Bravo TV should have renamed it as “Cry Me A River, Tamra & Vicki!”  Much of the 2 hours revolved around Tamra and her pending divorce from Simon and everybody calling out Vicki for the nasty person she is.  Probably the most telling moment was during the beginning of Part One, where Tamra tried to explain how she knew her marriage was on the rocks back when she first joined the show 3 years ago.  Even before then, she knew Simon and her were headed for trouble.  All the while, her ‘best friend’, Vicki, was smiling away!

Both of these ‘ladies’ were pretty shameless and disgusting.  Simon has accused Tamra of infidelity in the papers he filed, as well as verbal abuse, etc.  Tamra denied on air that she ever cheated on him, but, as those of us who Google and watch TMZ know, she has been seen around town hanging out with one of Simon’s friends barely a month after they separated.  She did admit to chatting with an old friend by phone and on-line for about a year.

It’s pretty obvious to those of us who watched from the beginning that Simon is a dullard, whereas Tamra is a middle-aged teenager.  He was successful, grounded and provided her security as a fatherly-husband.  Tamra’s an immature attention-seeker and did indeed test Simon’s lack of tolerance.  From early on, her relationship with her eldest son, Ryan, was a sore issue with Simon.  He was clearly thinking with his ‘other head’ when Simon got involved and married Tamra.  So I do not absolve Simon from any responsibility, but it was obvious their marriage would not last.

This year’s reunion show featured the other husbands (and partner in the case of Slade), who got a chance to vent.  And vent some did, mostly at Vicki!  Slade especially made it clear he was not going to roll over for her.  In typical Vicki fashion, when the heat got too hot, she threatening to walk off.  She even said she’s thinking about leaving the series altogether.  I’ll believe it when i see it.  Vicki thought she was the Queen Bee since the first season, and even more so this 5th season now that Jeanna (for whom the series was originally created for) left, due partly to Vicki’s attitude.

We also had more criticism of Gretchen’s relationship with Sleazy-Slade.  Two new things we learned about her is that she bought the rights to all of past-‘housewive’ Jo’s music.  Gretchen even recorded and is releasing one song and has a pretty good voice.  The other item is that Gretchen has a degree in child psychology, which takes us to the next subject, Lynne’s motherhood skills.  Space-Cadet Lynne got a fair amount of heat for her handling of daughter Alexa.  But the funniest moment was housewife Alexis defending her plastic surgery and facial maintenance by saying, “God wants us to be happy.” 

The second barrel of our Housewives special was the New York ladies are back.  Actually, their new season started last week.  None of these women are very interesting.  LuAnn, the count-less countess, is going through divorce proceedings.  If Crazy Ramona and Bitchy Bethany are right, LuAnn and her husband had a pretty open marriage anyway.  I never liked Alex in the previous seasons, but so far this year, she’s about the only sane, semi-rational one of the bunch.  Jill is still Jill and Kelly is somewhere between the Moon and Alpha Centauri.  I would be very scared if Kelly and Lynne from the OC ever got together!

Moving on, Patti Stanger had another first on “Millionaire Matchmaker”.  A new female client, Trisha, claimed to be bi-curious.  Her other client was Trevor, a Midwestern lad raised on cornbread and fresh-from-the-cow milk.  The small Indiana town he comes from is mostly populated by relatives, some of whom he’s dated!  So he needed to branch out to find some new genetic stock.  The real question was if during the singles mixer, both Trevor and Trisha wanted to date the same gal?
Fortunately, they did not.  Trisha went for Tyler, an experienced lesbian ‘flipper’, more than butch enough to satisfy any curiosity Trisha may have.  Trevor went for Heidi, herself a former member of the 4-H club and knows which side of a haystack to roll out of.  Patti arranged for Trevor to take Heidi on a tour of the 1-800-Flowers farm, which was the perfect environment for them.  Trisha, who is into roller-skating, rented a rink for her date with Tyler.  After skating, Trisha also arranged for them to be served dinner from Tyler’s favorite restaurant right there on the rink.

Their date did not go well at first.  Tyler has little interest in roller-skating.  But during dinner, Trisha became more intrigued as Tyler discussed her life’s journey in sexual choices.  By the end of dinner, Trisha came to realize that she is heterosexual all the way.  They are still friends.  Trevor and Heidi are in a long-distance relationship.  Those tend to fail but these two are just uncomplicated enough to maybe make it work.

Last night was the premier of “Celebrity Apprentice 3″.  After last season’s lousy ending, where poker queen Annie Duke was ROBBED of the victory title, I had vowed to never watch the show again, let alone write about it.  It became quite obvious that the fix had been in early, since A) Trump’s sister-in-law serves on the board of Joan River’s charity and B) Producer Mark Burnett was also producing River’s own series which started shortly after she won.

So, I’m going to be very brief on this.  The 8-man team, Rocksolid, beat the women, Tenacity, in a showdown of diner running.  Cyndi Laupner was the Project Manager and should have been fired, as she is a bubble-brained idiot.  But the team threw comedian/producer Carole Liefer under the bus.  The only humorous moments were in the boardroom.  First, Trump learned that Cyndi’s only friend with money is Rosie O’Donnell, to whom Trump is still fuming about.  He should have fired Cyndi just for that!  Secondly, Trump lost all patience with these dingbats as he prodded them for answers.  He used some pretty raw language on the women which caused many a startled look.

Finally, on “Project Runway”, the remaining 9 designers were tasked to create a look based on the elements:  earth, wind, fire and water.  They had $150 and one day to finish, and from here on out, there is no more immunity for the winners.  Much of the design had to also incorporate their model’s hair styles, coached by one, Philip Carreon of Garnier.  Initially, Tim Gunn seemed generally impressed by what everyone was attempting to do.  But by the morning of Runway Day, he had many doubts and fears.

The judges were Heidi, Michael, Nina and Roland Mouret.  None of the outfits were very impressive.  Amy’s was just plain bizarre, with the model’s hair cradled in a ‘bowl’ over her breasts!  I suppose that is a watery look.  Jonathan won for his airy use of layers.  The worst two were Amy and Ben.  I don’t recall if it was Heidi or Michael, but one of them described Amy’s look as like a bar maid serving hair!  Too funny!  Ben’s pants featured a jock-strap-like front, which earned him the boot.

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