Rant and Rave Against Patriarchy

I’ve already alluded to my rotten mood in a comment elsewhere on Gather today.  It did not improve after my most recent experience.  I needed to track down the current lender of the mortgage, which my husband and I both own.  My husband is kindly at work laboring away to pay said mortgage.  I am home.  Makes sense that I manage this chore.

However, because I am not the first listed on the mortgage, I ran into obstacles.  On the phone I needed to provide my social security number.  Funny, it doesn’t match the number *they* have, which would be my husband’s.  And since I’m not Mrs. John Doe, but Ms. I-have-a-name-of-my-own, the transaction fell flat.

I also wanted to check on-line regarding a health insurance question.  Same problem.  I am *not* Mrs. John Doe so I don’t have access to my own children’s health information! 

Moving along, I sort through the mail.  I find unopened letters addressed to Mr. John Doe concerning my daughters and sons.  Officially, I can not open these letters; I’m not listed on the To: portion.

The phone rings. The utility company/service repair/telephone company/etc wants to speak with Mr. John Doe or Mrs. John Doe.  Hmmm.  It’s not a telemarketer, but a legitimate call concerning our home, but I’m not the right name. 

Do I berate my spouse because he holds the deeds to our two cars?  I was actually present at the dealerships, but was fielding small children when the transaction took place. 

Hey, look!  The directory came from our church!  But where am I?  Oh, it says, “see Mr. John Doe”.  I guess he owns me.  I’m glad *he* doesn’t take that warped view. 

My experience tells me that marriage is oppressive to women.

Do we live in an equal society?  Do we live in a society that values each person as an autonomous entity?  What’s your experience tell you?

About the Author ()

"Always try to add a little fizz and ginger to everything you write." --Matthew Stibbe

Leave a Reply