Real Housewives of NYC Recap Highlights! Kelly Is Crazy! No, Seriously. She’s Insane.

Filed in Gather Life & Style Essential by on May 21, 2010 0 Comments

Here are the highlights from this week’s Real Housewives of NYC! Girl Bonding Goes Horribly, Horribly Wrong…

@ Ramona’s “Renewal” Weekend (aka 2nd Bachelorette Party) Oh Kelly. The many things you said this episode just make you look crazy…the first of which is “Satchels of Gold”…huh? The beginning of crazy has only just begun…

Women frolicking on a yacht in bikinis. I wish upon a star that I have a body like them when I’m their age. Hell, I’ll settle for their body now!

@ Some gorgeous mansion that is apparently the 2nd version of Ramona’s Renewal Weekend. Holy cow. Seriously.

So, Bethenny gets everyone a travel gift bag, and Kelly thinks this is horrible and bursts into tears. Then calls Jill and makes up weird stories about knives and clawing and murder and how Bethenney is going to kill her…which is weird because…well because it’s weird. And all Jill can think is, “what the hell is going on there?” Which is the most sane thing Jill has said ALL SEASON.

Apparently Kelly told Alex that she’s “channeling the devil”. Again, secret Kelly language at work.

Sonja trying to wake up is like trying to wake up my husband. Except she wakes up with makeup…but it’s still damn funny.

Kelly decides to do a photo shoot for all the women. Best Quotes. “You’re like a temptress lioness!” “Alex was marching with, like, venom. And she had a weird look on her face.” “Johan face Alex! Johan face!”

@ Dinner w/Luann and Jill: Jill is going to crash the Renewal party. She thinks it’s a good idea. Luann thinks she’s dumb. According to the previews for next week, the Countess is apparently correct…

@Back at the Renewal Thing: So the general consensus amongst the ladies is that Kelly has a chemical imbalance. I wonder if she just drank too much, but either way her mouth just flapped and flapped and nothing coherent came out except childish babble and “I don’t want a time out” and “zip it Ramona!” and “You made Bethenney cry!” and “Go make out with tongue”. And the other housewives sat and stared and drank (very smart ladies!). And then Kelly said Bethenney tried to kill her. Then said Alex showed up at a party in full Kabuki makeup. Alex: “Kelly, there are times you seem to go kinda crazy…”

Sonja to Kelly: “You told Alex she’s channeling the devil and that Bethenney is going to kill you with a butterknife. What are you talking about? You are getting weird!” To the camera: “I’m not a doctor, but there’s something wrong. I’m worried for Kelly. Something’s going on here.” (Kelly shouting “OMG Al Sharpton! Put your hair up Al Sharpton!”) “Now she’s talking nonsense, nothing’s making sense. She’s going off the deep end. She thinks Alex is a vampire!”

Kelly (skipping through the house): “Does anyone want a Jelly Bean or a Lollypop?”

And no, I didn’t make up any of these quotes. So, is Kelly crazy or drunk? Or both? Or something different altogether…Is this what real female relationships are like? Cause it’s really scary…

One thing is for sure. If Kelly was embarrassed about the flack she got about last week’s episode, she’s going to go into hiding after this week…

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