You have to wonder if the relationships of Tiger Woods, Jesse James, Mike Nilon, Tiki Barber or any of the other dozens of high-profile relationships that have fallen apart in the last few months would have benefited from TheFrisky.com‘s “19 Ways to Feel More Confident About Your Relationship.”(via CNN.com)
(Although, as good as these suggestions are, I’m not sure any of them could fix a cheating, lying husband.)
Having been in a happy, healthy long-term relationship with a really good guy for quite a long time, I was delighted to read a lot of these ideas. Being in a relationship takes work! Once the initial butterflies and lovey feelings dissipate (and they always do), you are left with memories of your first kiss and bickers about who last cleaned the cat boxes. (We are, at least.)
So, you have to choose, they say, to wake up every day loving your partner, finding things to love about him, and focusing on his good qualities. The spark won’t stay alive unless you keep it alive.
Visit CNN.com or TheFrisky.com for the full list. Here are some of my favorites from the list by Nancy Lichtenstein. I’ve added my own comments.
1) Don’t snoop - I think this one is ESSENTIAL. This only erodes trust and makes you suspicious, even when you don’t have a reason to be. It’s also hard to STOP doing once you’ve started. If you want to know details about his private life, ask him! Or call his sister and see what she’ll dish out.
3) Skip the games and be up-front.
Guys hate games and they tend not to play them. As much as we think his text messages mean something else, they generally don’t. So be yourself and just tell him how you feel. I totally agree with this one.
4) Be confident in yourself.
HUGE. Guys love a woman who knows what she wants. And you are so much happier when you’re confident than when you second guess yourself all the time. Do this for yourself, in fact, more than you do it for your relationship.
9) Avoid the temptation to endlessly analyze details.
I think this one is important too. It’s just exhausting to analyze details all day long. It’s also for 14-year-olds. Be more mature than that.
14) Don’t let yourself become dependent.
This is a sure-fire way to drive a relationship into the ground. And to make the unthinkable (a break-up) unbearable, if it should ever happen.
18) Don’t compare your relationship to other people’s relationships. Sometimes our couple friends tell us they envy our relationship which always makes me laugh, because if they had any idea how it really is, they’d be happy to stay on their side of the fence, I’m sure. Every couple has flaws, NOTHING is perfect. Be happy right where you are. Love the one you’re with, as the song goes.
These are great suggestions! The theme here seems to be to be cool, be yourself, and don’t act like an insane person. Guys don’t go on more than a couple dates with someone they aren’t into, so trust in the fact that your guy picked YOU for a reason! And sit back and enjoy the benefits of being in love.