Filed in Gather Writing Essential by on November 3, 2008 0 Comments



© David Wainland 2008

He who breaks a resolution is a weakling;
He who makes one is a fool.
F.M. Knowles

Last year I decided to slide forward through the New Year and into 2008 without complicating my life with resolutions. Yes, I planned not to plan and conspired not to conspire. Why not let things happen the way they would if I did not interfere. Of course that is almost as hard as a resolution itself.

 How does one stay out of one's own way?

There is a law of nature that states, "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction." Even a passive action will have active results.

So what would happen if I decided against resolutions, conspiring and planning? Well fate, if you believe in such, would have its merry way and I would have to accept whatever came. That is sort of like crossing a busy intersection with my eyes closed. Not a good choice. So I had better keep my eyes open. Still, I would be crossing a busy intersection, eyes open, but against the flow of traffic, another bad idea. Wait for the signal, now that seems smart, but then I would be planning, in fact resolving not to be hit.

There are small resolutions that I make every day, some conscious and some I never think about. Many are the difference between living, dying, or being suspended in some terrible place called depression, choosing not to choose.

Without resolve the years flit by and I would waste away, if not my body then my mind. What makes me human is the ability to make choices and resolutions.

We, and now I say we, guide our lives by our own unique philosophies. If it is religion that motivates you then we are driven by the choices that are implied by that force. If we are socially conscious, then we act or rather react to specific stimuli. Even atheists are motivated by their thoughts. Without God you can still care for your fellow man and for the future.

When I was twenty-one my eighteen year old brother passed away, I found a reason to keep motivated and I resolved to help my parents and sister survive. Our middle child died two hours after birth and I made up my mind to help my wife go on. When my son was born Jamie, my wife ruptured an artery in her broad ligament. She lost so much blood that they did not think she would survive. I do not know if my belief in her affected the outcome, but she did.

In 1988 my parents died only ninety days apart. Dad was only seventy-six, my mother a bit younger. They were buried together alongside my brother and I helped my family survive that tragedy. Finally, four years ago my son Jeremy, passed away and I lost my resolve. I did not want to go on, but then there was Jamie. She had stood beside me during my tragedies and me along side of her when she suffered the loss of HER parents, her baby and now her son.

In the midst of grief I drew from her strength, she from mine and we resolved to survive. We have and we will.

So what is the point of this diatribe?  That in spite of my desire to stay resolution free I tumble forward into the New Year committed to living and resolving to make this the best year I can regardless of the circumstances.

I was wrong, Mr. Knowles is wrong; I resolve to go on living.

"When it comes time to die, let us not regret that we have never lived." Henry David Thoreau 



About the Author ()

Crafter, writer, artist, retired and I love a good glass of wine.

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