Snooki Heartlessly Dumps Boyfriend–Why?

Filed in Gather Celeb News Channel by on January 6, 2012 0 Comments

Snooki has kicked her boyfriend of one year, Jionni LaValle, to the curb. Although the newly svelte reality star says she’s eager to marry and have kids, she says Jionni is not the one. He’s a nice guy, but he lacks the quintessential quality that she’s so desperately seeking in a husband and a father for her children. And exactly what quality is that? Sadly, there’s no nice way to say it.

“Snooki broke up with him because she is looking better than ever and wants to date someone famous,” reveals a friend of the diminutive Jersey Shore star. “It happened after her birthday party last weekend in Las Vegas. They’re done!”

Well, whatever else can be said of Snooki, she and her fellow Jersey Shore cohorts are uber-famous. And perhaps it was inevitable that she can only envision herself as part of an uber-famous couple. Like Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez, for example, or Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

So, here’s your chance famous A-listers. Snooki is now officially single and ready to mingle. And it seems her only requirement is that you must be a still-relevant, newsworthy celebrity of her wattage or above. But hurry. The lady is highly motivated. In fact, she’s made “settling down and starting a family her New Year’s resolution” for 2012.

“I can’t wait to start a family,” admits Snooks, “I’m waiting. I’m 24 now but I definitely want kids soon. I want four so I need to get started!”

Well, there you have it. You go, Snooki. You, too, famous guys.

Note: As for her ex-beau, Mr. LaValle has 2 choices, get uber-famous or get on with his life. Sorry, Jionni.

© Hope Carson 2011

Hope Carson is the author of 2 books: A Roaring Girl: An Interview with the Thinking Man’s Hooker and A Thousand and One Night Stands: The Life of Jon Vincent. You can follow her on Twitter

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