Stephen Colbert: Bermuda Triangle Race Participant Again

Stephen Colbert is returning to the Bermuda Triangle in the 777-mile Charleston Bermuda Race set for May. In 2005, Stephen’s first attempt at the race was an eye opening one for the funny man. Colbert states that he quickly realized the Bermuda Triangle event wasn’t the fun, booze filled trip he had initially thought it would be.

Speaking about it, Stephen said, “There comes a time in every man’s life when he must ask himself, ‘What can I endure? Of what mettle am I made?’ This was not one of those times. I thought this would be a booze cruise to Bermuda.

“Boat toilets…are floating Porta-Potties. Ours through an understandable oversight had not been emptied since the Carter administration. We tried opening a relief valve (provocatively called an “ocean cock”) – no go. It had to be pumped by hand. As a father of three, I was used to dealing with other people’s waste, so I volunteered, as did two other crew members… I now knew that I would not drown. I would die from amoebic dysentery.”

However, as messy a description as that was, Colbert’s 2005 Charleston Bermuda Race experience was pleasant enough to make him want to give it another go. Stephen is planning on setting sail with eight of his friends. It must be a guy thing.

Colbert explained, “What endures is what I can’t rightly describe: Looking up at night to see the masts unmoving in your eyes but the stars dancing in synchronized figure eights…Flying fish slapping against the sail…Two ounces of gritty cowboy coffee. Eight friends together in a 45-foot world and alone at the center of a referenceless horizon. I can’t explain what that all feels like. I just know I want to feel it again.”

Seriously though, there’s something very primitive yet undeniably relaxing and comforting in being at one with nature. Surely, this time around, Stephen Colbert and his buddies will double check their toilets before launching off on their race which will bring them directly into the Bermuda Triangle.

© Evalynn J. Saeyang – Gather Inc. 2011


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