Shrink: OK, why don’t we start with you, coffee maker. Can I call you CM?
Coffee maker: Yeah, I suppose that would be alright.
Shrink: Splendid! Now what brings you here?
CM: Well, I feel depressed.
Shrink: But you’re loaded with caffeine.
CM: I wish! My pot is empty.
Shrink: Has anything happened that might be causing you to feel depressed?
CM: Yes…er…I mean no…er…what I mean to say is nothing is happening. I feel so neglected and unwanted.
Shrink: That’s a darn shame. GM, perhaps you can shed some light on this. Why are you here today?
GM: Well, you see, I don’t drink coffee, so I never use the coffee maker.
Shrink: I see. That explains CM’s feelings of neglect. But why do you own a coffee maker if you don’t drink coffee?
GM: It was a Christmas gift from a friend who had no idea.
CM: But couldn’t you try me just once?! Why don’t you invite your ‘friend’ over sometime?! For a cup of coffee?!
GM: She doesn’t like to drink alone and I won’t drink with her.
CM: Doctor! Do you see what I mean?! Can you see why I’m so depressed?!
Shrink: Yes, I get the picture now. GM, have you given any thought to re-gifting CM? A lot of people do that with unwanted gifts–and CM could end up with a less neglectful owner.
GM: Well, I can’t give CM away–I threw away the wrapping paper and box it came in.
Shrink: Perhaps you can sell CM to a coffee addict. Being who I am, I can even make some recommendations.
CM: Oh! That’s a great idea!
GM: Um…no it isn’t. CM’s warranty is expired.
CM: Doctor, do yo see what I have to put up with? My situation is hopeless.
Shrink: I have to concur. I can’t prescribe meds for a depressed coffee maker…on second thought, there is perhaps one thing I can do. (He buzzes in his secretary.)
Secretary: (She enters the room.) You called for me sir?
Shrink: Yes, Judith, we’d like some refreshments.
Secretary: Yes sir. What can I bring you Mr. GM?
GM: I’ll have some water, please.
Shrink: And bring me some coffee in this. (He hands her CM.)
Secretary: We’re out of coffee. How about some tea?
This week’s writing challenge: write about the clash between man and machine.
- A therapy session between you and your coffee maker.
- Your GPS knows better than you.
- Cave dwellers ponder whether the invention of the first tool was really such a good idea.
- You are a lawyer hammering out the proposed merger between man and machine.
Post your article to Gather Writing Essentials.
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Include “Monday Writing Essential” in your title.