Sunday Writing Essential (SunWE, 02/23/14, Pancakes)
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THE DAILY PURGATORY
February 24, 2014
Issue 666 Volume 1
© 2014 by David Wainland
25TH PANCAKE OLYMPICS SITE SELECTED
Burnt Corn, Alabama new home to Pancake Olympics
Two hundred and fifty of the town’s three hundred residents turned out to celebrate the announcement. The remaining fifty surrounded city hall to protest the fifty million dollars committed to the games by the newly elected mayor.
“Our money belongs, here celebrating the corn cakes; corn bread and corn pudding, not in the hands of those pancake carpetbaggers from the likes of Mississippi, Georgia and Tennessee.” Said Jeb Little Boy Burke.
The rebels blockaded Main Street with sacks of corn meal. The local police, Sheriff Big Boy Burke said he and his deputy would control the situation even if it meant rubber shotgun pellets and high pressure garden hoses.
The Mayor assured the Olympic committee that all will be ready and security will be tight. “We will parade the Olympic torch down Main St. prepared for the opening event, Pancake Curling, September 12 or my name ain’t Mayor Old Boy Burke.”
In the interim North Korea has decided to boycott the games. “Unless the U.S. Imperialists end their pancake blockade we will not compete.” This quote is attributed the highest sources. Dennis Rodman could not be reached for comment.
In response Alderman Geriatric Boy Burke responded, “Let the games begin,”