The Mindy Project opens with Mindy (Mindy Kaling) posing coyly in Josh’s shirt. She wakes him up so he can see how cute she looks, although she pretends to think she looks ridiculous. He gets up and offers to go get them breakfast. He starts to get dressed, but stops when realizes that his jeans have a ton of candy in the pockets. Mindy tells him to stop and get out of them right away, but it’s too late. Josh (Tommy Dewey) realizes he’s in Mindy’s jeans and he thinks it’s great! And they have all this room in the rear! Mindy fumes.
Her day does not get any better when she gets to the office and Jeremy (Ed Weeks) stalks her, trying to get his watch back. He left it at her apartment when they were doing the no strings thing. She’s not interested in giving him his watch. She ignores him.
And then Betsy (Zoe Jarmon) informs that she’s postponed her next gynecological appointment so often that her gynecologist has retired. She’s going to need to find a new one. Mindy decides to just ask Dr. Shulman (Stephen Tobolowsky), which is weird, right? Would you really want your boss examining your lady parts? At any rate, Shulman tells her that he can’t be her doctor because he feels too close to her. So of course Danny (Chris Messina) offers to be her doctor. She tells him that their relationship would preclude him being her doctor, but he tells her that won’t be a problem unless she’d be uncomfortable since she likes him so much. And he means like the way middle school aged children torment each other. You know, Mindy likes Danny! After all, he’s seen how she stares at him when he’s wearing t-shirts. Mindy scoffs.
They decide to challenge each other, the first to break will win. Win what? Gloating rights. Very key.
Danny starts off by asking Mindy fairly standard questions about her sexual activity. She’s mortified. It gets worse when they get to the topic of children and he answers for her that she won’t have children. She stops him and tells him that she’s planning on having four, and rattles off the names she’s given them. He mocks the names, and then crushes her by giving her some numbers. Namely that she’s 33, and likely won’t even marry Josh (should he be the one) for another few years. That they’ll talk about kids, and she’ll put it off because of her career. That he’ll resent her. And that he’ll then leave. They’ll divorce. She’ll meet someone on the internet. And they’ll marry right away, but she’ll be 42 and he’ll need a couple of years to convince since he already has two kids and boom. She’s 44. Mindy leaves, thoroughly depressed.
Gwen (Anna Camp) arrives to find Mindy in a despairing heap on the floor. Danny definitely got to her. Morgan (Ike Barinholtz) comes in and she confides in him. And basically, he tells her to buck up and not to let Danny get her down. She goes back into the examining room and out-chickens him.
First there’s getting on the scale though, but Mindy powers through it by refusing to look at the scale. Then there’s the breast exam, which he starts on her face. Because there’s breast tissue there (there’s not). She directs him downward. Then he tries to conduct it by looking into her eyes. She might be the first woman in the world to tell a man to put his eyes down. He does, but it’s pretty clear he’s really uncomfortable. Then they take it to the exam table. Mindy gets up on the table and scooches down and Danny runs from the room. Victor: Mindy!
While all this is happening, Jeremy convinces Morgan who convinces Betsy that it’s Mindy’s half birthday so that Morgan will break into Mindy’s apartment. When they get inside, Jeremy admits that he’s looking for his watch and Morgan bolts, not wanting to get a second strike. Betsy stays. She tries to talk Jeremy out of it, but when she can’t, she hands over the watch and leaves. Jeremy looks longingly at his watch, but winds up leaving it before returning to the office. Mindy Kaling and the writers might want to give Ed Weeks a bit more to do.
Photo credit: facebook.com/The Mindy Project