Topless Cafe in Maine

Filed in Gather News Channel by on February 26, 2009 0 Comments

Yeah yeah, the internet’s been all abuzzin’ about this new topless cafe in Maine – The Grand View Topless Coffee Shop in Vassalboro Maine to be exact. Believe it or not, the servers are topless (gasp!) and I’m sure all the coffee is freshly ground.

Unlike all the other news websites out there (MSNBC, I’m looking at you) I will refrain from doing the “cup size” joke when referring to the topless cafe. I was thinking about doing a few of the “gets you up in the morning” jokes, but decided I’m better than that. Or too hungover to try. I will point out that a topless cafe isn’t the best idea out there – most coffee places make the baristas wear aprons to protect against the inevitable spills. And since steaming hot liquids are going to feature prominently at the coffee shop, the toplessness seems more like an invitation for a lawsuit rather than a business strategy.

You know, I’m giving this topless cafe story in Maine a solid “meh” and, truthfully, can’t see what all the hubbub is about. I mean, haven’t we all seen boobies before? So what’s the big deal? Personally, as much as I love fun bags and all, if I haven’t had my coffee yet I could really care less. But you know who the real winners in this whole topless cafe thing are? The people of Maine itself. Without the news reporting on the topless cafe in Maine, I would have entirely forgotten about the state as a whole. I actually thought it had already been annexed by New Hampshire a few years ago. But now I know the truth – Maine still exists, and still no one cares.


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Don't know what to say... I grew a beard once. It itched. The end.

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