Tuesday WE (week 2): Brian's List

Filed in Gather Writing Essential by on March 8, 2009 0 Comments

This exercise is part of an Interactive Creative Writing Project.

The character is introduced here.


OMFG. What do you mean “tagged”?

ME?! For one of these “Look, a Random Amount of SH%T about Me” things?!


Which utter nitwit without a quarter of a brain would do that? Remind me to disconnect from the idiot. I have no time for this foolishness. Im working on some GROUNDBREAKING stuff, dudes. If youve read anything I post here you know that.

Listen, everyone. You know tagging games are just a big Pyramid Scheme, dont you? They just want us to keep tagging and clicking and posting baloney to increase traffic. And what they REALLY want is NOISE NOISE NOISE, so that when something important happens no one will be able to hear it.

It is a frigging crime to start these games because no one wants to break the chain. Not that I believe the stories that if you do you will be hit by a car or murdered by a chain saw wielding psychopath or marry the ugly girl with the greasy hair from high school who always sat alone in the cafeteria. Thats ridiculous. Normally I would just ignore this crap but Im so close to the solution now that I dont think I should be taking any risks. I would be irresponsible of me, I think. So here’s my GODDAMN LIST:

1. How many magnets do you have on your refrigerator and what are they

I dont have a frigging refrigerator! The sheep have one but there isnt much edible in it. The last thing I saw in there was some horsecrap colored curry with beans and broccoli in it. There might be milk and a few slices of that cake left but I have to wait until they go to sleep to sneak upstairs too check.

Magnets—what do you think? Crap crap and crap. They still have that little magnetic picture frame with the choo-choo train around it that I made in kindergarten. (I took out my picture out though. I looked like a complete idiot when I was a kid. You think theyd notice at least.) They also have a bunch of tacky souvenirs there like an Eiffel Tower from Paris and a Big Ben from London and an alligator from Florida. All made in China of course.

2. List three things you need from the grocery

Anything to eat! Especially, a pack of donuts, a large bag of Spicy Sweet Doritos (the ones in the purple bag) and a two liter orange soda.

3.  What is your favorite television show

I dont have a TV but Id have no time for it anyway. I watch a lot of You Tube videos for my research.

4.  What was the last concert you attended

It was Sean Paul but I had to leave when he started with the homophobic crap. Ive had enough of most reggae artistes, really.


5.  What do you like most about yourself

I like that Im smart but its also a burden sometimes when everyone around you is an idiot.


6. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be

Different parents would be my priority. Sheep are no fun.


7. What scares you

Nothing. (Did the Ferryfreak come up with this sh%t?!)

8.  What comforts you

What the #$8@ does that mean? I dont need no comfort. All I need is the truth.


–posted by *BRAIN* on Sunday, March 8, 2009 @ 2:11 p.m. PST


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