If youÂ’re like me youÂ’ve been praying for an excuse to use the phrase Â“Vagina Kidney DonorÂ” for like forever now, but no matter how many times you put it on your Christmas List, Santa denies you your heartÂ’s desire for years. Now thanks to the doctors at Johns Hopkins we can all say Â“Vagina Kidney DonorÂ” till our heartÂ’s content.
Note: In an effort to test myself not only as a journalist, but as a person, I will attempt to discuss the Vagina Kidney Donor without resorting to the obvious sex and birth jokes. How well I will accomplish this remains to be seen, but I have faith.
Â“If you asked our patient, she said it was like getting a tooth removedÂ”. Um, you must have huge teeth, lady. IÂ’m talking horse sized. Or MadonnaÂ’s.
Â“Removing the kidney through a natural opening should hasten the patient’s recovery and provide a better cosmetic resultÂ”. Better cosmetic, how? And where are you using these cosmetics?
NO! Bad, Phineas! Keep your mind out of the gutter.
Â“The surgery is considered less invasive and could pave the way for an increase in organ donationsÂ”. Oh come on! Â“Less invasiveÂ” and Â“increase in organ donationsÂ” in one sentence? Are you trying to kill me or something?
Â“But some physicians wonder how clean the procedure can actually be.Â”
ThatÂ’s it; I quit. Remind me to scratch Â“Vagina Kidney DonorÂ” off this yearÂ’s Christmas list.
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