Vagina Kidney Donor

Filed in Gather News Channel by on February 3, 2009 0 Comments

If you’re like me you’ve been praying for an excuse to use the phrase “Vagina Kidney Donor” for like forever now, but no matter how many times you put it on your Christmas List, Santa denies you your heart’s desire for years. Now thanks to the doctors at Johns Hopkins we can all say “Vagina Kidney Donor” till our heart’s content.

Note: In an effort to test myself not only as a journalist, but as a person, I will attempt to discuss the Vagina Kidney Donor without resorting to the obvious sex and birth jokes. How well I will accomplish this remains to be seen, but I have faith.

CNN states:

“If you asked our patient, she said it was like getting a tooth removed”. Um, you must have huge teeth, lady. I’m talking horse sized. Or Madonna’s.

“Removing the kidney through a natural opening should hasten the patient’s recovery and provide a better cosmetic result”. Better cosmetic, how? And where are you using these cosmetics?

NO! Bad, Phineas! Keep your mind out of the gutter.

“The surgery is considered less invasive and could pave the way for an increase in organ donations”. Oh come on! “Less invasive” and “increase in organ donations” in one sentence? Are you trying to kill me or something?

“But some physicians wonder how clean the procedure can actually be.”

That’s it; I quit. Remind me to scratch “Vagina Kidney Donor” off this year’s Christmas list.

 

Want to hear more of my (probably) drunken ramblings? Check it out here at www.gossip.gather.com!

About the Author ()

Don't know what to say... I grew a beard once. It itched. The end.

Leave a Reply