We were in a three car pile up, scrunched in the middle of two other vehicles. Amazingly, we are all ok. I had all four kids with me and two high school students from church. The car in front of us stopped so suddenly on the freeway that we couldn't even see his car from all the smoke his tires put off. I slammed on the brakes (doing 55) and the wheels locked up and we slid into him. I wasn't too close, I wasn't speeding, there was nowhere to swerve… There was nothing I could do. Even the guy I hit said I couldn't have prevented it, but I am so shaken up. The car behind us plowed into us and he also had a child in the car but they were also ok. None of the other two drivers had insurance and the one we hit didn't even have his license on him. *faint*
Fortunately, both other drivers were kind and no one was mad. It was almost like we banded together. Weird, I know. But we were all like, "Wow, that sucked. Thank God we're all ok." It could have been so much worse. We were in the middle lane and if one of our vehicles had pushed the other into the next lane… I may have very well lost one of my children.
My van is totaled and Gideon is very worried about it. He was crying and crying, saying, "Our van is broken! Our van is broken. We need to fix it!" I just kept hugging him and saying, "Honey, the van doesn't matter. We can get a new van. We could never replace you and you're ok so everything is fine. All mommy cares about is you guys."
My husband is out of town and doesn't get home until late tomorrow night so I'm alone with the kids and I'm sitting here in tears. I worked so hard all day to be strong and not cry. I didn't want to scare the kids. Now… I just keep thinking, oh my God, what if something had happened to my beautiful babies? What would I do if I had lost them today? I keep thinking I didn't spend enough time with them today. If something truly terrible had happened… I don't know if I could make it through if I had lost one of them. Those children are my whole life. I love them more than anything.
So, here I am blabbering away. Thanks for letting me share it all. I needed to get it out.