Weeds starts its eighth and final season immediately after Nancy (Mary Louise Parker) is shot in the head. She is lying on the ground, looking at her broken wine glass. Everyone is freaking out, well, Andy (Justin Kirk) is freaking out, while trying to remain calm. It’s difficult to tell what anyone else is doing since at first everything is from Nancy’s perspective. One of Jill’s girls snaps a photo and uploads it.
Silas (Hunter Parrish) rides in the ambulance with Nancy as Shane (Alexander Gould) chases after the shooter. He loses him when the shooter jumps into a car and drives off. Shane tries to tell the police how to do their job but leaves when he realizes how incompetent they are (one actually steps in Nancy’s blood).
Right before Nancy is shot.
At the hospital, the doctor tells them that they are cautiously optimistic, but that they’ll know more later. She’s in a medically induced coma right now. Then the billing department comes calling. Jill (Jennifer Jason Leigh) offers up Doug (Kevin Nealon) as the only one with a job and a corporate card. Silas goes to sit in Nancy’s room.
When Shane gets to the hospital, he shows Jill the uploaded photo, and asks her what is wrong with her daughter. Jill is not pleased with said daughter. When Shane walks into Nancy’s room, Silas has already pilfered items from Nancy’s comatose roommate’s gift baskets. Shane takes some more and they discuss who could have done this. It’s a long list.
Silas and Shane leave for a bit and Doug comes in. He eats some of the stolen food and then gets up to brush the crumbs off Nancy’s bed and body. Then, being Doug, and a truly execrable excuse for a man, takes the opportunity to feel up Nancy as she lies there helpless. The roommate’s daughter comes in and catches Doug eating from the stolen stash and gets him thrown out.
Andy goes in to cry over Nancy. Jill comes in and is generally unpleasant in the way she is. Andy is surprised when she very sweetly puts eye cream on Nancy. She tells him that she is nice, but that she doesn’t make a big deal out of it so people don’t notice. They start making out. Jill pulls out her vagina weight (flinging it over and onto the bed of the roommate) and she and Andy have sex right next to Nancy’s unconscious body. These people are all insane.
Moving on, Andy realizes that what they just did is a little (a lot) crazy. He sits with Nancy after Jill leaves, and is there when the roommate’s daughter comes in again. She finds the vagina weight, and understandably has a meltdown when Andy explains what it is.
Andy heads down to the cafeteria (he wasn’t thrown out?) and is eating when a nice man asks if he can join him. Andy asks if he’s trying to cruise him, because this seems like not such a great place to do that, although kudos on the originality. And, he’s straight, so, thanks, but no thanks. Turns out he’s the hospital chaplain rabbi. Andy pours out his heart and all the events of the evening, including the vagina weight and all it did for Jill’s Kegel muscles. The rabbi seems a bit intrigued. Do you think Jim Stamas of Michigan watches the show (Detroit Free Press)?
At any rate, they talk about God and whether he exists, and if Nancy lives whether or not that means anything considering she has done so much crap, and surely if He exists than she’ll die, right (Jill’s theory and why she is convinced Nancy will live)? The rabbi says basically that’s a crazy theory, but in a much nicer way.
And then the shooter walks into Nancy’s room. It’s someone Nancy (and the audience) knows. Remember Nancy’s FBI husband? Tim Scottson (Daryl Sabara – the same kid as before!) plotted his revenge and now that he’s done it, he doesn’t feel any better. As he stands there looking down at Nancy, the daughter comes in and Nancy’s monitors all start going insane. Tim bolts out of there as the daughter starts bellowing for the nurse and having a general conniption over the Botwin clan.
The tension the crazy monitors might ordinarily cause is lessened significantly by the fact that it’s Nancy on the bed and this is episode 1. One really nice thing about the show’s return? They also brought back “Little Boxes”, maybe because they’re in the suburbs again, albeit Connecticut rather than California. Anyway, it’s a nice return to the show’s beginnings, before the crazy really hit the fan. Considering the show’s premise? That’s saying a lot.
Photo Credit: Sho.com