Weeds opens with a different title sequence. Instead of the drawing of everything that’s happened in the last few seasons, this episode opens with scenes of Agrestic, pardon Regrestic. It ends with Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) knocking on a door and Conrad (Romany Malco – hi, Conrad!) opens it.
Nancy keeps telling Conrad that they were good together and that she wants him to grow for her. He’s now in the health game. Pam (Becky Thyre) walks up and screams. She says it’s been at least a year, she apparently had shock treatment for a sex addition, and that she hasn’t seen Nancy or Celia in ages. Ooookay. She asks if she’s coming to the wedding. What wedding? Conrad’s. Oh, and know who else is there? Lupita (RenÃ©e Victor)!
Conrad tells Nancy that Guillermo (Guillermo Diaz) is back in charge. Nancy being Nancy doesn’t take this as a sign that she should give up, instead she goes to find him at a party. She is casually insensitive about Mexican traditions and thinks he’ll be nice because they’re in public, but he empties the place and they talk. He tells her that he hired Jessica Seinfeld’s lawyer. The one who defended her in the plagiarizing case. He got off because of a bunch of screw ups and got what he considers a reboot. He and his minions have a discussion about that before he yells at them. He is not so much interested in doing business with Nancy so much as killing her. Nancy tries to convince him that going legit is the way to go, but he’s so angry he can’t hear any of that until Conrad shows up to force him to listen. Once he really listens to Nancy, she is able to convince him that he wants to be legal. He’s going to let her have seeds, and he’s going to be a shareholder in this new venture.
While all this is happening. Silas (Hunter Parrish) and Andy (Justin Kirk) go to a museum. Andy explains that he thinks fate is bringing him to Yael, an ex. Silas thinks that’s all a crock, but then he turns to ask someone a question and it turns out to be Megan (Shoshannah Stern)! They talk and he apologizes and tells her that he loved/loves her and that she has always been the one for him. She slaps him, but they talk more and she admits that she still loves him too.
While they’re reconciling. Andy finds Yael and is gutted when she doesn’t remember him. Really? Or did this relationship as badly as the others and she’s pretending? He climbs to the roof and rails at God for toying with his life.
Shane (Alexander Gould) meanwhile is in trouble over the stolen car from the impound lot. Internal Affairs wants him to flip on Ouellette (Michael Harney). Shane goes to see him and is chagrined when Oullette tells him to suck it up, that he made a mistake and now he can’t be an officer. Shane tells IA that he is fed up and that Oullette is a jerk, but that they’re worse and if they’re any indication of what the force is like, he doesn’t want any part of it. He tosses his badge on the desk. Ouellette comes storming in and starts yelling at the IA officers, but it turns out that Shane’s been punked. He’s okay. The charges have been dropped and he’s in the clear. Shane is gobsmacked but picks up his badge.
While all this is happening, Doug (Kevin Nealon) is at the house with his homeless people. He’s also supposed to be watching Stevie, although no Stevie is in sight, but that answers the question of where he was supposed to be last week. Doug bemoans that his real family, the Botwins, don’t like him. The one from the future tells him it’s better that the Botwins left without him because he’s about to become great. Doug scratches sending the ball off the table. He decides to start a cult, pardon, religion, as you do. The future guy reminds Doug that he’s not really from the future, that he has a dissociative disorder, but Doug is all in. Also all in? The woman from the motel last week (Allyn Rachel). She’s apparently really damaged because she’s already totally into the cult, pardon, religion.
Oh, and the wedding happens. Conrad thanks Nancy for the advance, so she’s sucked him in too. He asks if she thinks this will happen. She says “God willing and the creek don’t rise.” Ominously, he says in his experience, it always does.
Silas shows up with Megan, who’s coming back East with them. Nancy’s happy to hear it, but prompts him to tell her about the business. She finds Andy and they go for a walk to where Judah died. Andy tells her that he’s staying in California. She asks him to come back with them and kisses him. They wind up having sex on the lawn. When they’re finished he tenderly covers her up, and then brutally walks away. Nancy screams for him, but he leaves.
Photo credit Weeds Facebook page
“Little Boxes” performed by Aimee Mann