What are Kate Middleton and Kim Kardashian Smiling About?

Filed in Gather Celeb News Channel by on September 5, 2012 0 Comments

Kate Middleton and Kim Kardashian may be chalk and cheese in terms of breeding and social backgrounds but the two white fanged media hounds have both made the top three of a new poll to find out which celebrity has the most perfect smile.

Admittedly these two brassy brunettes have a lot to smile about. One is married to the future King of England and other has taken the term ‘media whore’ and given it a much richer and deeper significance than anyone else in history.

But apparently it’s their carefree and expansive smiles which make these two 21st century glamour girls, separated by the Atlantic but unified in stardom, so appealing to the everyday guys and gals with their foul breath, rotten teeth and lecherous smiles.

Of course, a person’s teeth are often thought to signify something about their character and mouths loaded with whiter than white immaculately chiseled teeth seem to suggest “Yes I am rich and can afford very expensive dentistry work. That is why I smile a lot you awful little peasant.”

Whereas a mouthful full of yellow and rotting gnashers which resemble tombstones seem to reek of poverty, vice, cheap tracksuits, junk food diets and too much television.

The poll was conducted by ecigarettedirect and one of their representatives gushed, ‘It’s amazing how much we judge people by their smile. A winning grin really can open doors for anyone. What our survey found was the vast majority of people have a very similar reaction to the same celebrity smiles.”

The enthusiastic rep beamed, “Almost everyone we asked agreed that Holly Willoughby and Kate Middleton had the most beautiful, natural smiles. with Kim Kardashian coming in third.”

Cynics, such as the Duchess of Cambridge’s manly looking little sister Pippa Middleton, might argue that Kim and Kate’s Hollywood smiles are so dazzling because of their constant and mind numbing exposure in the mass media. A media whose mission statement appears to be to inform the world how wonderful and attractive celebrities and their lifestyles are.

Perhaps, but it’s worth noting in the same poll that poor old bug face Victoria Beckam was voted as celebrity with the worst smile closely followed by Simon Cowell. Whoops!

A particularly vicious female royalist who took part in the survey snarled, “Kate has the perfect smile and unlike all the showbiz celebrities she also has real class. Her smile never looks forced or fake. It was fantastic to see her light up with joy at the Olympics and the Paralympics. She’s wonderful.”

Whilst another lady who seemed to delight in Beckham bashing like it was some kind of approved blood sport, barked to the Daily Mail, “I’m sure Victoria Beckham must have a great smile but it’s a shame she never shows it. For some strange reason she seems to think she looks good if she sucks in her cheeks and grimaces in front of a camera. It’s really quite bizarre. Just show us your fangs Victoria.”

Ladies please!

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