What’s With Women and Twilight?

Filed in Gather Entertainment News Channel by on February 4, 2009 0 Comments

Now I might be a little behind the times here, what with all the hubbub around the film being so last month and all, but I'm seeing a weird thing these days:  Women (not girls) reading these inexplicably popular Twilight books.  Has the film brought about a whole new level of literacy among those we would assume should already be literate? 

This whole cycle happened before with Harry Potter of course.  A few years back, when the films were going strong and the book series was coming to a close, you couldn't be on the subway without seeing AT LEAST 20 people reading them books. 

But what makes this so infuriating for me is that they're children's books.  You know,  for CHILDREN, not ADULTS!

So this morning I'm on the train, standing room of course, because it's rush hour.  And this cute little lady stands next to me.  Now I'm trying to make eyes at her and all, this made more difficult by the sunglasses I'm wearing. 

Suddenly the train hits a bump and said object of my attention falls into me, giving me the cutest little head-butt you could imagine.  It was like our foreheads kissed.  Pressed up next to each other, she says she's sorry, but all I'm thinking about is how to strike up conversation with her…

But then I look into her bag and see a copy of Twilight.  And in that moment she morphed from a sweet little thing to an overweight, pockmarked man.  And hairy too.

I couldn't get her (him?) off of me fast enough. 

So ladies, let this story be a warning to you; a morality play if you will:  If you absolutely must read a children's book, make sure to do it alone.  Because if you read it in public, alone is how you'll end up. 

 

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Don't know what to say... I grew a beard once. It itched. The end.

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